- Funky looking or smelling;
- Deformed in any way;
- Disgusting nail problems;
- Unchecked nail growth;
- Non-standard big toe to second toe length ratio.
From this moment forward, only people who have completed a lengthy and costly application process and are properly foot certified may go out in public wearing sandals or what are termed "flip-flops". The world has had enough given that quantifiable bile production is off the charts. These measures may seem Draconian at first, but you will get used to them (plus you have no choice). Very soon you will notice that the world is a much better and safer place to live and in which to go about your day-to-day business. Fin.