Thursday, May 28, 2009

Wacky Mascots

How does an athletic organization or school go about selecting their team
mascot? Sometimes they organize a drawing or a contest, sometimes they choose the name based on some local industry, sometimes it is chosen based on what a particular region is known for. There are names that just seem so fitting and dignified, like the Boston Celtics, the Miami Hurricanes, or the Durham Bulls. Others, it seems, clearly were not well thought out. The following are team names from actual teams, that as Dave Barry would say, I am not making up.
  • Minnesota Golden Gophers
  • Baltimore Skipjacks
  • Chinook Sugar Beeters
  • Moorehead Spuds
  • New Berlin Pretzels
  • Hooperton Area Cornjerkers
  • Tonopah Fighting Muckers
  • Blooming Prairie Awesome Blossoms
  • Teutopolis Wooden Shoes
  • Hickman Kewpies
Wow. I can smell the urine in the air from opposing teams soiling themselves in fear of the Hickman Kewpies. I have heard of an online contest to rename the team from Whoville as the Whoville Colberts. When will the madness end?