Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Today, folks are riddled with all sorts of afflictions that did not exist in the days of yore. If you begin to peruse this seemingly unending list, it somehow all seems to be correlated with advances in technology. I can list several that I am sure that you are familiar with. These include repetitive stress injuries caused by our computer keyboards, wrist tendonitis due to our video game controllers, restless leg syndrome, and probably even spontaneous internal human combustion. I can state with certainty that you never saw problems of this sort reported on CNN even as recently as one hundred years ago. Perhaps this is because electricity and televisions did not exist. However, this is totally beside the point. Don't confuse me by bringing up relevant issues. To detail something at the heart of this burgeoning problem a bit further, I have seen report after report of pharmaceutical companies that have cooked up drugs before they even know what symptoms that they might help alleviate. Basically, they tend to come up with a cure before they even have something to cure!

All of this is due to the modern age in which we live. Problems are bubbling up due to the advanced technology that we have that our ancestors did not. Beyond the new afflications and diseases that we seem plagued with now, I have also noted transformations of ordinary folks, like you and me, into wandering mindless zombies. All of this is due to today's technology. Walking outside the other day into my parking lot, I noticed about half a dozen folks wandering about in random directions all by themselves gesturing wildly. Attached to each of their heads was a cell phone. I am sure that the drug companies have already have dreamed up a new drug that can cure cell-phone-zombie-focus disorder. Ask your doctor if this is right for you. Side effects include insomnia, anal seepage, uncontrollable bleeding, explosive diarrhea coupled with severe constipation, dry mouth, and restless leg syndrome.