Friday, June 3, 2011


When you watch an old western on late-night T.V., there is typically a tense scene at the end where the dastardly villain is gunned down by the good guys. This judgement is usually well deserved after several hours of bank heists, cattle rustling, and train robberies. As the ne'er-do-wells clutch their chests and dramatically meet with their demise, the audience feels a certain warmth and release. Some even yell out a hearty, "Huzzah!". The bottom line is that we love it when people get what they deserve.

So it is with this spirit that I felt a certain joy when I listened to the news on the radio the other day. It seems that a certain individual was terrorizing an RV park. As the happy campers slept peacefully in their beds, this villain was syphoning gasoline from their tanks. Cue the hisses and the old timey piano medley. I can picture this monster wringing his hands while he chortles and sneers. He might even have had a handlebar mustache that he menacingly twisted for effect.

Well, justice was ultimately served. One evening he came upon a camper, and though it was dark, proceeded to insert his syphoning tube into what he purported to be the petrol tank. He put his lips to the hose and drew in deeply, deeply, to bring forth his prize. However, he was more than surprised to suck in a huge mouthful of raw sewage from the vehicle's holding tank. As he lay on the ground retching and convulsing, the police nabbed him and threw him into the hoosegow. Then the closing credits rolled to our mirthful glee and cheering.