Friday, September 18, 2009

Tabloid Fodder

Being of sound mind, I must state for the public record that I have the musical tastes of a 14-year-old girl. I attest to making this statement freely and of my own accord. I stress that I am not under or subject to duress, fraud, or undue influence. You must understand that it is necessary for me to come out of the closet on this issue before I was exposed, humiliated, or subject to extortion. My secret had become an anchor around my neck, pulling me down. It kept me awake at night, huddled in the corner in a state of moist panic, just waiting for "them" to come and find me. Shame, wagging of fingers, clucking of tongues. My friends ultimately turning their backs on me. I could see the headlines in all the major papers as clear as day:

Leading scientist listens to bubble gum pop!

I'm sure there would be scandalous accusations in all the tabloids. The fact that my musical tastes were such a shocking revelation would lead the paparazzi to dredge up all sorts of other half-baked truths. You could imagine tales of rampant bed wetting and extensive cosmetic surgery and saline implants, along with fabricated stories of my going to bed before 9:00 p.m. on Friday nights!

Given this, I wanted to come clean and provide you with a list of the last 10 CDs that I have listened to in hopes that the truth will come out. Only when you have let the truth wash over you in its full brillance, will you come to see that the rumors of my wimpiness are greatly exaggerated, or not.
  • Never Gone - Backstreet Boys
  • Unbreakable - Backstreet Boys
  • Say You Will - Fleetwood Mac
  • Bad for Good - Scorpions
  • Greatest Hits - BeeGees
  • In Time (Best of) - R.E.M.
  • Tusk - Fleetwood Mac
  • Walking on a Wire - Lowen and Navarro
  • Around the Sun - R.E.M.
  • Greatest Hits - Night Ranger