Saturday, September 26, 2009

Life's Journey -

In Life's Journey + I told you that the adventure was on. My 11-year-old daughter is accompanying me on a trip to Hawaii. For me, this is a big moment. I have become accustomed to going on business trips alone. For my daughter, this is most certainly a bigger moment. A special and unique week of fun and play and adventure with her daddy. While this has all the makings of a happy and positive experience, something has been kind of tugging at my mind and my heart. I guess that I am kind of feeling that this is somehow the last big adventure that I will have with my little one. My last time with her where her innocence is as big as her imagination and her spirit. Wide eyes and giddy laughter, exuberance and squeals, her breath taken by the new sights and possibilities around each corner. The future will no longer show a daddy and his little girl, but a dad with his teenage daughter. No longer a child, but a young woman. ... Perhaps I am getting too far ahead of reality, too far ahead of the clock, but somehow my mind is twisting and turning on this frightening transition. This notion is weighing on my spirit and applying its subtle pressure. Am I as organized as I can be? Have I thought of everything? What will we do every minute of each day? How can I make this trip as special as possible? At times these thoughts can serve to drown out all of the excitement and adventure. I am left with feelings of anxiety and unease and bad temperment and depression. Ultimately, I need to focus on the reasons why I am taking my little one on this trip with me. Her smile, her laughter, our relationship. Yeah, and the gentle tugs on my sleeve accompanied by "Ohh, daddy look at this".