Friday, December 17, 2010


The stank has now permeated every nook and cranny of my hallway at work. As I sit here typing, my eyes are watering from the scent of pure evil. What I know at this point is that it must be rooted out and eliminated. I just can't believe that we have gotten to this point. Who would bring such an unholy odor into our midsts? I know one thing, it should not be too difficult to find out.

It all started earlier this week when I, certainly minding my own business, not looking for any trouble, caught the slightest hint of the smell of potpourri. I did not think too much of it at the time. As my mind was full of other thoughts, I threw up just a little in my mouth, but went back to work. If I had known then what would become of this beast, I would have set my hallway ablaze. I have learned from past experience that this is the only way to rid an area of that kind of darkness.

If I ask you what comes to mind when I toss out the word potpourri, what would you say?
  • Whoever invented that accursed, foul olfactory attack should be burned at the stake. Speaking of that, I like mine slathered in a delicious butter sauce.
  • Huh, what's this poot-porry?
  • Boil that dust speck.
  • Hey dude, that's the smell of death, ... oh ... and grandma.
  • That stuff's great for snackin' right out of the box!
  • I love it! So organic and natural and pretty.
Of this small set of responses, five are from guys and one is from a woman. Do you care to guess which one? Given that in my line of work there are 128.2 males for every 0.03 females, now you understand why I don't think it should be too hard to localize the source of the that hideous, wretched, noxious effluvium.