I sit there silently, yet my thoughts are a clamor in my head. They are as pleasant and welcome to me as the ear-splitting feedback from a microphone or the whine of a dentist's drill. Like a rebellious teenager or a seasoned junkie, I just can't seem to control them. I sometimes feel like there is a war raging in my mind between the subconscious and the conscious.On one hand there is my subconscious self. It is the part of my thought pattern that can emerge as I sit and watch people go by. Wow, that one is fat. That one needs a lesson on how to apply makeup. That one walks like a circus freak. These thoughts just come out of me. I feel like the junkyard dog. A nasty, snarling, foaming-at-the-mouth mongrel. Never has anything useful or pleasant to say. It doesn't matter who comes by, it instantly attempts to rip them to shreds. Foul-mouthed, obscene, bitter, angry. Spewing venom and hatred. But for what purpose? Is it some insidious attempt to try to make me feel better? Well, I can assure you that it is not working. It is sickening. It is tiresome. It is not who I want to be.
On the other hand there is my conscious self. When I sense the presence of that junkyard dog I try to audibly recite a simple but powerful piece of scripture that says "to take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5). The important corollary to keep at hand comes from James 3:8 and says "no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil full of poison." This verse tells me that the mongrel will always get the better of me if I try to overcome his presence on my own. The apostle Paul's statement in 2 Corinthians tells me that my subconscious gives rise to thought patterns that are of this world. I need to tear down that way of thinking and let my mind be renewed by the truth of God's Word so that I will behave in a different way. A way that frees my mind from the beast that dwells within.
