Friday, February 26, 2010

Tears of a Clown

Don't you just seethe when someone is given credit and lauded for something they didn't do? Perhaps they completely botched the job from end to end, but due to crazy happenstance, they came out smelling like a rose. It's enough to put your panties in a bunch as they say. Well, I must sheepishly admit, that this has happened to me. This is my story.

Many years ago, I was invited to the wedding of my good friend Frank. Frank was a wonderful and dear person, don't get me wrong, but I believe it was universally agreed that his choice of a bride-to-be was, well, quite faulty. This woman always seemed to come across as mean-spirited and rude, not to mention that she was difficult to look at even in the most flattering of lighting. I used to joke with Frank during his engagement that his choice of mate would force me to speak up at the wedding ceremony when the minister asked if there were any reasons for these two not to be joined.

Now the wedding day came. I found my way to the church and took my seat amongst all the relatives and friends. When reverend asked the $64 question, Frank turned his gaze away from his bride-to-be, looked straight at me and arched his eyebrow. This sent me over the edge. I was laughing so hard I began to pee myself. The trouble was, I could not enter into full guffaw mode as I was in a sacred ceremony, so I struggled to hold it all in. There was so much pressure on my tummy that I was doubled over in giddy agony. Tears were pouring down my face. All of the old ladies surrounding me were soon moved to tears because they thought that I was the most sensitive man they had ever seen. I could hear their comments about how dear a friend I was, how compassionate a person I was, that the world needed more people like me. To this day, I am not sure how I made it through the ceremony, but I did. I made a spectacle of myself and yet it lifted all of those around me. Whew. I now feel better for having gotten this off my chest.