Saturday, January 3, 2009

Fiber and Old Age

Have you ever noticed that there is a strong positive correlation between our age and how many questions we ask about fiber? I don't remember when it started for me, maybe in my mid-to-late thirties, but somewhere, from deep within my being, like some nascent trait that laid dormant, it arose. According to my scientific research, it begins with noticing the labeling on certain foods, it then moves into purposefully reading the nutritional information on the side of packages, and then straight to full-fledged cravings for delicious Colon Blow cereal (now with real wood chips). This is all backed up by the following scientific-looking data.
People in this "fiber-at-all-costs" existence (called fiber-maniacs by the Centers for Disease Control) have been known to gather the whole family around the ol' porcelain ediface and give a detailed Powerpoint presentation. I don't think that I am quite this far gone, but I am starting to make myself nervous. I have noticed my darting eyes, my search for the RDA specifications on chicory in my Funyuns brand snack food, my fascination with saying the word bran until my fingers sweat. Please help me, I fear for my sanity.