- First amendment - protects the freedom of speech, religion, and the right to urinate in public after a night out shooting one's musket.
- Second amendment - protects a southerners right to bare arms.
- Fourth amendment - prohibits unreasonable seizures, unless one is quite ill.
- Seventh amendment - provides the right to trial by fire.
- Sixteenth amendment - allows the federal government to take whatever it sees fit from your paycheck whether you voted for Mayor McCheese or not.
Now that I have lived through another season of Major League Baseball, I think it is high time we unilaterally add another amendment. This one, I think you will agree, should have been in place from the very beginning. My new amendment would prohibit any person who is not on the active roster of a major league team from saying "we" when referring to how a team played. This amendment, of course, would apply for all professional sports leagues.