Thursday, April 21, 2011


I think professional sports teams and their branding and marketing are so ubiquitous that we just see the players and the t-shirts and the SportsCenters as part of everyday life. We barely give notice or react when we encounter them. But given that the playoffs for the National Basketball Association (or NBA) are now in full swing, I called a time-out to actually do some research on the names the playoff teams have. It's funny, but some of the names do not come from obvious sources. In fact, I am sure lots of folks think that they know why teams are called what they are, but I would guess that most people don't really have a clue. I went to the official NBA team pages and spent three full days reading and re-reading the team histories. It really is quite fascinating and quite telling. Given that, I wanted to share my findings with you so that you would have something to talk about with your friends at your next weenie roast.
  • Celtic - an all female musical ensemble
  • Knick - entertainment for young teenagers
  • Hawk - an aggressive businessman
  • Magic - an annoying mouse with a high-pitched squeal
  • Trailblazer - anyone who looks like Gabby Hayes
  • Maverick - someone from Alaska who talks a lot but does nothing useful
  • Heat - a hispanic with severe keister itch
  • Pacer - one who wanders without purpose or aim
  • 76'er - anyone who recalls President Carter was a peanut farmer
  • Laker - a chronic bedwetter
  • Bull - someone who reeks of bovine flotsam
  • Spur - anyone who has ever screamed out "ride me cowgirl!"
  • Grizzly - a person with an unusual hankering for honey
  • Nugget - a processed chicken blob made without chicken
  • Thunder - anyone with Lion-O PJs
  • Hornet - anyone with a friend named Kato who wears a trenchcoat
So, there you have it. I am sure that one or two of these will surprise you and leave you scratching your head. But, I do the research so you don't have to. You can thank me later.