Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Accent Advantage

I have noticed a trend in the place where I work. Brashly setting aside the scientific method, I have decided that a trend can be defined by two instances. Two of the highest-level positions here are filled by individuals who have British accents. I have the distinct sense that they got these jobs solely because of these aforementioned accents. Their mannerisms are unmistakably foppish, unnecessarily formal, and irresistably charming. When these chaps open their mouths, the women all swoon and the men stare cow-eyed, just wishing they could channel Mr. Bean, if only for a moment.

The affect that these two men have on all who they come into contact with here has made me jealous to be sure. However, and more importantly, it has caused me to have some suspicion and skepticism. How do we know that these people are even who they say they are? Given that I have never seen them wearing a bowler-type hat, that neither of them walks in an unusual manner (see Ministry of Silly Walks), and that they both have good teeth, I am starting to think that neither of them is really British. The accents are just a clever ruse to get us to be sucked in by their affected charm.

Maybe this whole British "angle" could work for me too. I'm sure that I could pick up a thing or two watching Kevin Costner in Robin Hood or tuning in the British parliament channel. I bet I could put this whole thing over the top with the simple addition of a powdered wig and by eating bangers and mash for lunch every day for a week. I will rise to the top of the heap here at work in no time. Blimey!