Saturday, February 21, 2009

Tears are Falling

I guess that I am a little less black and a little more lavendar that most guys. I know a lot of men that would dare not admit this, but I am not afraid to tell you that I cry. I certainly do not view this as a sign of weakness or feel it is something that should be hidden at all costs. I do not view this as a feminine or effete trait that marks me as something less than a man. It is how God made me, and is part of the palette of emotions that defines who I am and how I interact with the world around me. I am definitely not a stoic person who plays their emotional cards close to their vest, I am a wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve type and I am O.K. with that. I am well aware of the stigmatism of being labeled a "crybaby", I can live with this tag if it comes to that. Many people seem to be truly affected when someone around them cries. The response can be one of emotional bonding with a kindred soul, can be of adding distance and losing respect, or maybe even ambivalence.

I already know that I am a sucker for the swelling music and often contrived pathos that makes up many movie or book endings. I cry when the hero wins the girl and rides off into the sunset (even when I knew well in advance the outcome), I cry when I have to say goodbye to people I care about (even if only for a little while), and sometimes I cry tears of joy. I have known people who take pride in never crying, those who feel that if someone saw them with tears in their eyes that everyone would immediately lose respect for them and think them some sort of a pansy or an emotional train wreck. I feel that tears are a sign of connection with our own human condition. They serve to bring release and relief. They help us to heal and to celebrate. Sometimes we might feel that we can never let the world know who we are, that we must always be under full control when we are among others. Sometimes though, being who we are, tears and emotions and everything that comes with us, is so much more important and genuine.