Thursday, August 22, 2013

Role Reversal

My daughter has been plagued throughout her young life with throat pain caused by issues associated with her tonsils. She has been to the doctor countless times to deal with various complications that have arisen. To date they have treated her symptoms with various pain killers and antibiotics, however, nothing has worked. Over the years she has done her best to find a way to live with her condition, but recently she decided with her doctor's full consent to undergo a tonsillectomy. When she told me about her decision, I tried my best to be supportive and positive. I realize that this type of surgery is considered "minor" and "low risk", but to me I tend to focus on the word "risk". Try as I might, I am certain that my worry and anxiety were not masked in the least to my daughter who can read me pretty well.

In the long-ago days when she was still a youngling, she used to cling to me as her rock. Somehow if I told her things were going to be alright, that was enough for her. Just holding her tightly was enough to calm her and assuage her feelings of fear, to somehow transmit to her without the need for words that she was going to be just fine. Now she is old enough to make big decisions about her life on her own. I am not so much consulted or sought out for comfort as I am just "given the news". It seems to me that where I used to be the one to calm her, she has grown to the point where she is the one to help calm me. In such times, I can clearly see that she is not a little girl any more, but somehow a part of her will always be just that to me, ..., for better or for worse.