Monday, August 19, 2013


A few months ago I wrote a post entitled Ravishing Ronald about how I had hoped to deal with my feelings of hurt when a friend of mine did not show up for a coffee meeting that we had planned. Likely for most folks, they hang around often enough with their friends, that one missed get together would not even register as something to get the least bit worked up over. However, for me, I really struggle to make friends, and getting together socially with someone is such a rare event in my life, that it tends to get elevated to a place well above where, perhaps, it should be.

In writing my Ravishing Ronald post, I was trying to talk my way through my response to this event. I did not want to respond in weakness, as my natural tendency when faced with such a negative experience is to deal with my hurt by withdrawing back into my self. Usually something like this would make me less willing to try again in the future. In spite of this, I was hoping instead that I could respond in strength, namely, trusting my friend and scheduling another meeting as soon as possible.

However, while I know for certain that my friend was upset with himself for losing track of time and missing our meeting, I think he felt a bit awkward about approaching me to set up another time. Yet even though it took a few months, we eventually had our coffee time and got to spend a few hours relaxing and building our relationship. We talked about dozens of different topics and had a few laughs. When I was heading home after our time together, I had a good feeling inside, a feeling that made me want to reach out instead of withdraw. I followed this meeting up just a few days later with a coffee meeting with another friend. Wow, look at me stepping out. Crusher, you are on notice.