Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Speed Bumps

The other day I made a trip to a local mall and was aghast at the sheer scale of the speed bumps that they had installed every 3 feet around their parking lot. If you had put K-2 next to these behemoths, it would have been covered in shadow. I mean, as I passed over these structures, the oxygen masks in my car popped down! (Note that I put mine on first and then assisted my child with hers). At the end of that hair-raising experience, I thought that the topic of speed bumps was crying out for me to investigate further.

Later, as I was looking for information on the Algorian superhighway of stuff on what constituted a regulation speed bump, I came across a site that proclaimed across its top "The ULTIMATE Blog on Speed Bumps, Speed Humps and Parking Curbs". My first thought was, this person really has embraced a real specialized niche area. The second thing that I noticed was that they had more followers than I do. But that is beside the point. The key piece of information that I was after was the allowed dimensions of a state-legal speed bump installed in a public roadway or parking area. The answer that I found was that this is all controlled by local mafias, so if Mr. Big says they shall be big enough to cover a dead body, then that is how big they shall be. But, one state (CA) does have posted speed bump regulations on the books. They are:

Speed bumps must be 3.5-in high by 12-in wide and must have a 6-in incline on either side.

The speed bumps that I encountered in that local mall parking lot would clearly not have been allowed in CA, unless suitable kickbacks were established. But hey, who am I to argue with Mr. Big?