Wednesday, May 5, 2010


N.ever could I have imagined in a billion life times that our love would not survive until the end. We had such promise and passion and connection. We shared the common bond of a lifetime of hurt and pain and disappointment. We were both so ready to live. We had everything we could have needed, except in our rush, we left each other behind.

U.tter silence greets me most days when I get home. No excited pitter patter of racing feet across the floor to look out the window and wave. No warm embrace or how was your day. No snuggling on the couch in the evening, rubbing of feet or expectant conversation. No chatting with you while you get your shower or sharing secrets only the two of us would ever hear.

M.any is the night when I awake and reach out expecting to find you there. Reality then comes back to me and I remember that things are different now. As silly as it may seem, I sometimes still talk to you. I share an exciting or funny moment, I seek your advice. Only the echo of my own voice comes back to me.

B.lack is my life since that moment. Although it was a long time ago, I still feel like I just have to wake up from this nightmare and you will be there. You'll look deep into my eyes, smile the way you do, and ask me if I slept well. I will say no, and you will hug me the way you used to.