About Me

Sometimes, in just the right lighting, if you catch just a momentary glimpse of me from across a large room, I can almost seem normal. An average Joe. A regular dude. But before you get too giddy with such thoughts, I must warn you, beware. Mark my words. You should be wary before letting me join in any of your reindeer games. Today I wanted to share just a few pieces of insight about myself that you might not know.

• I am extremely jumpy. If you surprise me from behind, it can send me into sensory overload. I have been known in such situations to make some kooky and zany yipping noise and then wet myself.
  
• I get totally freaked out by bugs and critters. I have been known to abandon my home if I even hear rumors of nearby roaches or mice. Yuck, ewww, and gag.
  
• I have the musical tastes of a 14-year-old girl. Those boy bands make me go weak in the knees.
  
• I have never been in a car accident or gotten a speeding ticket. Hopefully this admission is not like the Sports Illustrated cover curse that will doom me on the way home today.
  
• I did not get my driver's license until I was 30 years old.
  
• I did not have any girlfriends when I was in high school or college.
  
• I am a pretty good cook and regularly watched Julia Child's The French Chef as a boy.
  
• Although I am a supposed intellectual type, for many years I did not like reading.
  
• I am crazy shy.
  
• I am an elitist, but I don't like myself. Well, at least I don't play favorites.
  
• I am one of the funniest people I know. My specialty is observational humor, not telling jokes.
  

Do things make more sense now? Does anything on this list surprise you? Shock you? Cause you to laugh and point? Let me know.