The Colors of Life

Daddy, can we? Maybe next weekend sweetheart, Daddy is real tired. Can I get things out of the closet? Not now please, you will make a mess. I tried to put it off, to delay the moment. I had to eventually look at myself in the mirror and ask why? This year, like the past few, I have faced some deep-seated, inner termoil during the Christmas season when it came to putting up the Christmas tree. Things just haven't been the same for me since my divorce. The Christmas season was a time for family, a time for all of us to look forward to and celebrate together. Now that it is just me and my daughter, it seems that bringing that box out of the closet just serves to highlight my loss, my failure, my depression. Each year it brought out memories that I was trying to bury, to lose, to out run. This year really could have continued the cycle in full force, just like the last few. However, as I searched myself, I didn't feel the same breadth of hurt, the same dread. Funny how time and prayer can increase the distance, diminish the pain, and bring about relief and healing. I think that the biggest realization that I have come to this year is that it is not all about me. It never was. With a new perspective and a new found peace, the colors can return to your life.