Thursday, August 6, 2015


Analytics is a big buzz word in professional sports. This notion is an attempt at some sort of quantification of skills of an athlete based on certain metrics. This pseudo-science is basically the brain child of sports agents to devise schemes and approaches to make a below average player sound like they are some kind of superstar based on "intangibles" and "character" and "leadership". The larger the value of these contrived algorithmic numbers, the bigger the payout for the agent ... errr ... athlete. Said another way, analytics is meant to be a way to see into the pith and marrow of a person based solely on numbers.

Anyway, I thought that I would present some numbers that I have observed recently looking around my house. I figure that they might give you some insight into my worth.
  • 23 - the number of bulbous 35 W light bulbs in my bathroom vanities
  • 9 - the number of ceiling fans in my house
  • 30 - the number of golden hued, albeit slightly tarnished, knobs on my kitchen cabinets
  • 9 - the number of framed pictures on all of my walls
  • 1 - the number of CDs attached to the bulletin board in my study
  • 2 - the number of Christmas figurines displayed year-round in my living room
  • 1 - the number of Tootsie Roll "bite size midgee" banks on my desk
  • 21 - the number of Perler bead crafts on display about my house
  • 2 - the number of unused Haagen-Daz plastic spoon-like devices sitting on my mantel piece.
So have you figured me out yet and how big my check will be?