Saturday, October 9, 2010

Chicken Tampon

I get the penny saver every week in my mailbox like many folks across our great nation. I quickly skim through its pages to be sure that no real mail got mixed up in its hydra-like grip before I deposit this rag in my recycle bin. As I leaf through the pages, I typically see the weekly ad for the local grocery store advertising their low, low prices. I don't know about you, but in all my years of skimming through these ads, I have never once seen a listing for chicken tampons at $4 per pound. What about you?

I can hear you all now, flapping your arms and scratching your feet across the ground. You have no idea what I am going on about. O.K., I will break it down for you so that you too can feel the rage that I now feel. I bought a package of chicken breasts the other day at the supermarket. When I got them home, I opened the package and placed the chicken parts on my cutting board. At the bottom of the styrofoam tray, was this 4-in by 6-in absorbant pad. A pad that I have affectionately named the chicken tampon. This pad by itself weighed over half a pound. Does anyone else out there in "cyberland" feel the bile rising up in their throats? Is anyone else pounding their clenched fists on the nearest table? ... What?? ... Don't you see what is going on here? ... Those corporate chicken so-and-so's are purposefully and insideously adding dead weight to their packaging so that they can charge more. Talk about a bitter taste! Somebody get me a Tic-Tac.