Tuesday, September 28, 2010


For some reason, as the kernel of the idea for today's post came into my mind, I couldn't help but think about the 80s/90s television show Designing Women. I heard that the show declined rapidly in popularity when it morphed from a comedy into a weekly sermon of the various political and social viewpoints of the show's creators. Perhaps, this entry may be a bit preachy. However, I have an important truth based on my own experience and findings that may serve to strengthen your marriage.

I have found that when your spouse has a relationship issue, she will typically ask you about it. Perhaps you watch too much television, or hang out too often with your buddies, or spend too much time at work, or go on too many business trips. If you do not take action or try to ignore her initial plea, eventually she will Ask you again and then she will ASK you again. The fact that she continues to come back with the same issue time after time, given the condition of our heart and our attitude, usually becomes perceived by us as nagging. What follows then is typically quite predictable. We finally address the area that we have been ASKED about, all the while grumbling and complaining. We do this just to shut her up, while making it clear to her that we would rather not do what she ASKED us to, but are doing it just for her. So much pomp and circumstance. Theatrics.

What a sign of maturity and realization that she is the most important person in our lives, if we talk to her about the issue and come to a mutual, respectful solution. If you indeed agree to give up some activity or change how you approach some aspect of your life, do it with a proper, cheerful spirit. Do not grumble and complain and play the role of martyr. Do it quietly, with respect, realizing how important it is to her. Do it because you love her and want to really become ONE with her, not just one or One with her.