I have become a prisoner in my own life. This prison is a second-by-second assualt on my soul, a day-to-day degradation of the self.There is one final chapter in my very brief discussion of sexual bondage that I have thought about at length, but have made no progress whatsoever toward a solution. If one is in a steady relationship, a natural and important part of that involves sex. There are many volumes written on how this aspect of a relationship can be strengthened and purified, turned from sour to sweet. I shall not touch on any more here. There are also a considerable number of works focussing on keeping relationships healthy and satisfying before marriage. My concern is how to proceed as a single person after a relationship has ended? Anyone in this situation probably already understands why it is hard to come up with a sensible solution. It is not human, that is to say it goes against our human makeup, not to have sexual desires. However, outside of a relationship where there is no outlet, how is one to proceed? Only a fool (or someone who has completely lost touch because they are having regular sex) would advise that we should bury that aspect of who we are or suggest that sexual thoughts are sinful and need to be done away with. It is a ridiculous suggestion because it ordinarily just cannot be done.
My worry is that the same issues that gave rise to our sexual bondage in the first place can slowly creep back into our thoughts and then our actions. Certainly as a Christian, the Bible is not explicit on what is allowed or not allowed. It does not take long to search the internet to find writings that span the full range of opinions, each argued with vehemence and passion and backed up with all sorts of Bible verses. I have talked this issue over with pastors and Christian counselors and learned friends. The only thing that I can conclude from all of my efforts is that the subject makes everyone just so uncomfortable that
they are not willing or capable to discuss it openly and honestly. Try having a serious discussion with another person on masturbation. The silence is deafening and the awkwardness is palpable.
However, I fear that without understanding what I am supposed to do with this aspect of my humanity, i.e. the natural urges that seem to course through my body, that I will always have some connection with that prison cell of sexual bondage.
(Part 5 of 5)
