I have become a prisoner in my own life. This prison is a second-by-second assualt on my soul, a day-to-day degradation of the self.I understand that many people believe that those in sexual bondage of any sort are just perverts. This strong negative connotation and the abhorrant views of society are what drive many sexual addicts into an ever deepening, ever downward spiral. How can we reach out and seek help when those around us will only heap on more shame and more guilt? However, sexual bondage really is an addiction in all senses of the word. Anyone who has ever been held captive to an deep-seated addiction, whether it was cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, food, or any other hook, knows that there are both mental and physiological issues to deal with. Overcoming either of these ingredients typically results in intense physical discomfort. It can be maddening when we have to deny the body's cry for its usual fix.
Overcoming any type of addiction requires careful attention to both the mental and physiological aspects of the controlling influence. Working on one and not the other will often result in failure to make progress, and in some cases, can cause us to sink deeper into our addiction. Failure is one trigger that can often set off those intense feelings.
Again, the goal in moving toward recovery and freedom is to remove the noose from our necks, not merely to loosen its grip. If my focus is solely to stop some destructive behavior, sexual or otherwise, that's a good beginning toward recovery, but that is a personal goal, a personal vision. Without a God-given vision, a higher calling or purpose, we will most likely continue to struggle to break free from what owns us. Of course those who are familiar with the 12-steps of Alcoholics Anonymous will recognize this statement as one of the basic tenets of recovery.
Even when we try to take ownership of our addictions, our bondage, we are never more than a breath away from falling back to our old ways. All it takes is a pretty face in a pop-up ad on our computer, a waft of cigarette smoke to pass into our senses, an offer of a hit from a friend after a bad day. Without appropriate armor, we are vulnerable at all times. So, what can we do? Is there any hope? How can we start to break free from our prison?
(Part 3 of 5)
