Thursday, June 11, 2009

Grind My Gears III

What really grinds my gears? In today's installment I want to rail on nature. To be quite honest I have had it up to here with it. This planet seems to be teeming with all sorts of objectionable critters. Ants, termites, ticks, centipedes, wasps, hornets, yellow jackets, horse flies, mosquitos, gnats. Dang. I wish that some giant boot would come down from the heavens and squash the life out of every last one of these pests. I can't go out into "nature" without being accosted by something. Biting, buzzing, sucking, stinging, bothering. Why can't I get a judge to sign a restraining order against "nature" to keep it away from me, to keep it from impacting my life, to keep me from grumbling and cursing and gnashing my teeth? I can see why nature would want to go after "naturalists". I mean, anyone who likes to live in the out-of-doors, is obviously asking for it. I mind my own business, I try to avoid going outside for any reason. What did I ever do to nature in the first place?