- I was trying to dish a bowl of ice cream for my daughter the other day. As the ice cream was hard, I got down close to the carton and really put some pressure on the scoop. The metal handle broke suddenly and I then proceeded to do a face plant into the ice cream. I quickly disposed of the tell-tale evidence on my cheek.
- There is a car dealer who is advertising locally and making a big deal that their used car warranties are the best in the business. Two years, 200,000 miles (whichever comes first). Who could drive this far in two years?
- I recently got an unsolicited email from a dating site inviting me to Telluride Gay Ski Week. Shortly thereafter I got a second email apologizing for the invitation as being sent by mistake. How do they know that I don't like moguling in the nude?
- I went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned recently. As the hygienist was putting the suction hose and other unnecessary paraphernalia into my mouth, she told me, "Raise your hand if you want me to stop. However, I may ignore you and just keep going."
- There was a scene in the old Mary Tyler Moore show where Mr. Grant says that one of the reasons that he hired Mary is that she apologized to a piece of furniture when she bumped into it by accident. I do the same thing.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Posted by Daniel