Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Diet Woes

I am now firmly ensconced in what is known as "middle age". A few gray hairs here and there, arthritis affecting my joints, and a constant hankering for Geritol. Heck, the other day in Walmart I stopped to look at the new fall line of walkers. Anyway, one of the other glories of middle age is that the body's metabolism slows down to the point that a single M&M candy takes several weeks to digest. In the meantime, all of the other stuff that is eaten, like Moon Pies and whipped cream straight from the can, is immediately turned into fat. In fact, love handles and what is termed the "beer gut" are direct remnants of a lifetime's supply of Moon Pies and whipped cream straight from the can.

I have kept a journal of my weight and my exercise sessions for more than 10 years now. During this time I have done a reasonable job of maintaining my weight at right around 200 lbs. With my metabolism almost audibly winding down, I have had to compensate by removing calories from my diet in one form or another in an almost regular fashion. Ten years ago my daily calorie intake was about 3300. Five years ago is was down to 2900. Today my intake is about 2500 calories per day. A simple calculation tells me that in 31.25 years, in order to maintain my weight at 200 lbs, I will not be allowed to consume a single calorie. My diet will be limited to packets of fake sugar, diet water, and mass quantities of freshly picked kale. Man, that makes for a depressing future.