Black Friday

Big game hunters set out across the savannah with only their trusty rifle and their wits. The thrill of the hunt is what energizes them and speaks to their soul. It is the me vs. them challenge, life or death, winner take all, that ignites that spark deep within them. No quarter granted and none expected. No prisoners taken alive. Only the most cunning and the strongest will make it back to tell their tales. Today is a more suburban parallel to that sort of adventure for many. In fact, it often seems that the exact same mindset plays out in what is termed "Black Friday". A fully contrived corporate kick-off to the "holiday" shopping season. When those mall doors open at 3:00 a.m., the adrenaline-laced stampede is afoot, with much the same drama as witnessed in Pamplona during the running of the bulls. One mis-step and the unlucky shopper will be unmercifully trampled to their untimely demise.

Normally when one is considering whether to put oneself into harm's way, a careful cost-benefit type analysis should be performed. In other words, is the very real possibility of dying a gruesome death worth saving a few bucks on some off-brand T.V. model that nobody has ever heard of and will likely spontaneously combust within 17 days of purchase? Most folks in full charge of their mental faculties would say, "duh, no". Yet somehow the ink fumes from the penny-saver ads, with their mind-control formulation, intoxicates the masses. Delusions of grandeur take over such that folks become certain that this year they will be successful and find that bargain that will make their lives complete or that will finally get their little Suzie or Johnny to love them. Some may read my words and say "bah" and some might say "pahtoosh", but those that utter these dismissive grunts are likely daft from having camped outside the mall all night waiting for the doors to open. It's too bad I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to you, because whether you know it or not, you are already a goner. Black Friday indeed.