Friday, December 9, 2011


I found myself noodling a bit today about things that I have never done or have never happened to me. Really, I was just mindlessly drifting along, letting the neurons go down whatever channels suited their fancy. Here are a few things that bubbled to the surface.
  • I have never kissed a blond-haired woman.
  • I have never worn culottes.
  • I have never owned a pair of loafers.
  • I have never seen a superhero movie in the movie theater.
  • I have never gone on a traditional "dinner and a movie" date.
  • I have never used a $2 bill or a Susan B. Anthony dollar as legal tender for a good or service.
  • I have never flown in a dirigible or lighter-than-air craft of any kind.
  • I have never worn a tuxedo or shaken hands with anyone who was wearing one.
  • I have never worn eyeliner or any sort of skin bronzer.
  • I have never danced with the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall.
  • I have never had scurvy or worn an eye patch.
  • I have never pined for the fjords.
  • I have never walked backwards for an entire city block.
  • I have never been in Iowa, Wyoming, or Oklahoma.
  • I have never used duct tape on actual duct work.
  • I have never written a blog post that has gotten double-digit comments.
What are a few of your nevers?