Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Grind My Gears 26

Did you hear that? That clandestine whooshing and skittering noise followed by a low cackle? ... There it is again ... and again. In fact in the space of just a few minutes, if you are not a complete lout, you will hear this same sound hundreds upon hundreds of times if you sit on my front porch steps. What is the cause you ask? It is those danged leaves falling out of the trees and landing on my lawn. I have watched them from the cover of my rose bushes. Just when they think nobody is watching, they cut loose from their branches and make a bee-line to the ground. I spend hours raking, bagging, and yelling myself hoarse until my yard is spotless. Then, in the ever so brief duration of time from when I walk to my shed to put away the tools until I return, the yard is once again completely re-covered in leaves. This whole process of nature seems like quite a poor design. It totally grinds my gears. I mean who invented disposable leaves? What is the point of even letting trees have the option of irresponsibly shedding? I don't have the time or energy to spend dealing with nature's insouciant littering. Maybe I should leave a pile of cord wood and an idling chainsaw in my front yard as a stern warning of my power.