Tuesday, May 17, 2011

No Time

It doesn't seem that long ago that I held you in my arms as you lay sleeping. You were helpless and completely dependent on me for so many things. I distinctly remember telling you how much I loved you and how I hoped that I had the strength and patience to bring you up in this world to be ready and to make a difference. Although the words still echo in my ears, they are from a moment so very long ago. Back then I thought we had all the time in the world.

Through the years you grew and developed into who you are. Many things you learned from me, but many were also hard-wired into your being. Kindness, caring for others, laughter, silliness, and determination. From your first day of preschool through kindergarten, elementary school, and middle school. We have been through so much together, so many firsts. As much as I cared for you and looked out for you along the way, it feels like you have done so much more for me. At each stage I kept thinking that we had all the time in the world.

Today so many things have changed or stopped, so many lasts. From dependence to independence. Revolution and evolution. Over the period of what seems like just a few short months, so many of the little girl ways have been put away. Brushing teeth as I sang to you, reading together before bed time, screaming out whenever the clock read 7:11, going about town on our adventures, making me close the soap container, and caring for your zoo of stuffed animals. It has all flashed before my eyes so quickly. I always thought that we would have more time together.