Monday, March 28, 2011

Choose Already

Let me take a little informal poll of everyone out there. How many times has this sorry little scenario played out in your life? You are with a friend or two or with your family and you are planning to go out to dinner. The question is floated, "Where do you want to go to eat?". The only answer that emerges and bounces around the room from every pie hole in the place is, "Oh, I don't know. Where do you want to go?". Of course from time to time there is that one wing nut who earnestly pleads that everyone head to the nearby Korean restaurant where every dish is either some unrecognizable meat-like burgoo or some bowl of slop with flagrant suckers and fish eyes bobbing at the surface and where everything smells like a used diaper. Let me tell you now, if I had a rolled up newspaper I would swat every last one of you across the back of the head. You all really make me feel like gnawing on a ball of wadded up aluminum foil.

From now on, when the question is asked about where to go, make a freakin' suggestion. Now, for the love of Pete's sake, let me be perfectly crystalline here. I am not talking some namby-pamby answer like, "Well we could go to that Italian place, or to the seafood place, or to the docks where they are dumping the left over chum, or ..." This type of response is divisive and simply means that you should immediately lose your privilege of hanging out with friends for at least 30 days. You are all worthless and weak. You want to see how a real caring and honest man behaves in these situations? I invited my friend to lunch the other day. Because I took the time to pick the meeting time, I gave my friend the honor to choose where we would eat.