Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Not Through Yet

Recently I posted a blog series entitled Bondage (you can read through it starting from the first post - Bondage I) about being in sexual bondage. Some may get the wrong idea that this series was about sexual gratification associated with being chained or tied up. Most assuredly it was not. It was about being held captive to sexual addiction and lustful thinking. Certainly a very personal series for me to present. Today's post was written based on another thought that came out of some background reading that helped give birth to that series. One book that I read was Pure Desire by Ted Roberts. As I was reading I came across a chapter that detailed the feeling that many sexual addicts feel at some point during their ordeal that they are "done". They feel that they just don't want to go on living any more. They feel like they are too far gone, too broken, too messed up to turn their lives around. They have completely lost their self-respect. Nothing matters any more. Nothing in their world gives them any joy or peace. They have lost their smile. However, this is a nadir that can be reached by most everyone at some point in their lives, not just sexual addicts.

Roberts writes "It can be such a subtle change in a man's heart, just a click on the inside, unnoticed even by himself. But the change is monumental, because he's quietly decided to quit." As I was reading this chapter and the related personal attitudes, tears were running down my cheeks. The words and descriptions had resonated with me because I have been in that place. I have had those feelings of utter despair. Whenever Roberts (who is the pastor of East Hill Church in Oregon) counsels individuals who have reached this state, he always asks the question:

Who told you God was through with you? You may have given up, but God hasn't given up on you. It's over when God says it's over, and He'll never give up on you!

This sentiment, while simple, may be just enough to help folks ride out the storm a while longer and may also supply much needed comfort to a Christ follower who is deeply hurting and is starting to believe the whispers that they are finished.