Rolls and Drones

About a year ago I struck up a kind of friendship with a man in my church. As he is only about half my age, I think he views me as a middle schooler might view some creepy old dude like George Burns that comes up to them in public and wants to be their friend. This man, who I will call Yodeling Andy (to protect his true identity), or Y.A. for short, is a humble, quiet, humorous, bright, and Godly man. He is also a very talented musician who can play exotic instruments like the xylophone and the kazoo. Let me tell you, that cat can wail on a Sousaphone like nobody's business. He has also been known to play the banjo in public. I am not sure if I am prejudiced against the banjo, but I know that something about it has always affected me. It might be due to the fact that it can have 4, 5, or 6 strings, but it might also have something to do with Roy Clark and the old Hee Haw program. Whatever my deep-seated issues are regarding the banjo, this is where the problem came in.

I had coffee with Y.A. a while back and I casually mentioned that I think banjos are from the devil. Trying to be helpful, I made sure to point out that Y.A.'s banjo playing technique was flawed such that he made the instrument sound like a mature albino chimpanzee in heat with its nether-regions caught in a bear trap during the month of June. I also told Y.A. that I think banjo players are all bed-wetters and puppy-kickers. Y.A. nodded his head thoughtfully and, as I remember, rubbed his chin with a far-away glint in his eye. I didn't think too much about what I said, I was just trying to be amusing and "fun". It turns out that I was way out of line, but I did not realize it until exactly 89 days later. When my words filtered back over me, I knew that I had some apologizing to do. So, I sent off a note to try to make things right, to seek forgiveness. Just a bit later I heard back from Y.A., whose email was one of the most gracious that I have ever received. It touched my heart and brought a smile to my lips that won't seem to go away. Stephen, ... err, ... Yodeling Andy, you are a blessing to me. Next time I will just flow with the rolls and the drones.

Shake the Dust

There is an older lady in my church who has one of those friendly faces that exudes strength and kindness. On a few occasions she has lead prayer during service with words that were heart-felt, considered, and plain-spoken. No platitudes, no Christianese. It also turns out that this lady, Marcia Shepherd, is the mother of my church's pastor. Recently, I found out that she had written a short book a few years ago called Shake the Dust and Move on, that I felt would be worthwhile for me. I am one who tends to hold onto things - circumstances, relationships, harsh words - that can imprison me in their grip to a level, at times, that deeply affect my spirit and my attitude. Negative thoughts and emotions can sometimes keep their claws in me for days at a time.

There are myriad self-help books on the market whose theme is to never give up, to persevere, to re-double our efforts when we want to walk away, to throw in the towel, to call it quits. This book, Shake the Dust, is not about that. In fact, to the contrary, the theme here is that sometimes it is necessary for our spiritual, physical, and mental health to let go, to shake the dust and move on. The title is motivated by an instruction that Jesus gave to his disciples when he sent them out to minister to the world. He told them that if they or their message were rejected by the people to whom they were preaching and teaching, to shake the dust of the place from their sandals, and to move on to the next village.

Shake the Dust is a very quick read, but loaded with sound advice regarding how and when to walk away from certain situations, be they personal relationships, requests for our time and energy, our jobs, or lingering feelings of defeat and failure. A heart-felt, considered, and plain-spoken book that can be a perfect inclusion into your devotional time for a few days.

iTunes Latest - 14

Back in December of 2011, I finally discovered iTunes on my Mac. This service has really helped me to reconnect with my love of music. One of the things that I really like about music is that so often a given song has a strong association with a time or with a moment in my life. So, I thought that I would share my latest five downloads and a bit about my history with each song.

• 18 and Life - Skid Row (1989) - Back in 1989 I had just begun graduate school and MTV still played music. A typical grungy looking band repleat with long-maned lead singer got my attention for this gritty and loud ode to wasted life. Oh and then things changed and the Gilmore Girls event happened that we shall not speak about.
  
• Here's to Growing Old - The New Oldfashions (2012) - A haunting song, melancholy and rhythmic. Beautiful and complex. Oh and I consider the members of this band my friends. Looking forward to more of their work (hint, hint, hint).
  
• Paparazzi - Greyson Chance (2010) - Think of me what you will for falling for the work of a young teenage prodigy. The notes he belts out with passion and desperation likely would affect you too. I found this one like many others, through Greyson's viral YouTube video.
  
• Monkey on your Back - Aldo Nova (1983) - I was a junior in high school when this one came out. I remember it as one of those songs that caused me to subconsciously turn the radio dial up when it played. It was as if I couldn't help myself. This tune holds up even today. You can likely guess what it is about from the title.
  
• This Love - Bad Company (1986) - The original Bad Company line-up with lead singer Paul Rodgers I considered as O.K. (although Rock and Roll Fantasy has a special place in my heart), but the version of this band with lead singer Brian Howe had a groove that I preferred. I love the CDs Holy Water, Here Comes Trouble, and Dangerous Age. However, this song is a professional effort from this group's first album, Fame and Fortune, that I just recently stumbled across.
  

Rabbit, Run

I have been wanting to tackle the Rabbit Angstrom books by author John Updike for some time. A few years ago, I had stumbled across this series on a list of 50 books that everyone should read at some point in their lives. The first book in the series was published in 1960 and is entitled Rabbit, Run. The story's main character is Harry "Rabbit" Angstrom, a 26 year old man who wakes up one day overwhelmed with a feeling of disgust toward his existence. In high school, Harry was the star athlete of his basketball team in Mt. Judge, PA. His struggle is summarized with his quote:

"... and after you're first rate at something, no matter what, it kind of takes the kick out of being second rate."

Suddenly, his plain wife, who just seems to sit around their small apartment drinking and smoking all day, sickens him. His petty job as an in-store salesman of a kitchen gadget makes him feel like he has somehow lost his way, that he has not achieved the type of career that he saw for himself. Harry gets into his car with the intention of just driving away, somewhere south, to find the sort of exciting life that he feels should be his. However, after driving all night and getting nowhere, he ends up back where he started. Beaten down in a deep, cloying desperation, he calls on his ex-coach, who introduces him to Ruth Leonard, a part-time prostitute. Ruth gives Harry a feeling of being truly alive that he has not experienced since high school. He moves in with her for a few months and seems to be surviving reasonably well.

However, Harry is eventually convinced by the minister of his wife's family to go to the hospital when his wife Janice goes into labor with their second child. With the sense of rebirth of the new arrival, Harry agrees to go back to his wife, figuring that he needs to grow up and be a Godly man to his family. Soon after, when he has a spat with Janice, he runs back to Ruth to shake off the self-absorbed, needy mess that he sees his wife as. When he leaves, Janice gets drunk to ease her pain, which ends up leading to a whole new level of horror. In the aftermath, Rabbit tries to support Janice, to deal with his circumstances, to face up to his family and hers, and to deal with the inevitable consequences of his affair, but it is all too much for him, so he runs off again to try to find some peace.

This story is written with a level of gritty realism that I have not encountered before in my reading. The feeling of being trapped in an existence that you want no part of, is written with such mastery that you become fully immersed into Harry's world. You become a part of him, suffering through his pain, conflict, and angst. The story telling and the level of artistry here were just sublime. Ladies and gentlemen, this is literature. Now, onto the second part of the story, Rabbit, Redux to find out what has become of Harry ten years later.

Observations 33

My occasional blog series "Observations" was created to be an outlet to share a variety of topics that pop into my field of view as a result of a condition that many bloggers are afflicted with known as "blogger's eyes". In this state we view the world on the constant look-out for topics on which to write about. Today's blog came about from random odds 'n ends of things that I have noticed over the past few weeks.

• There is a man in the office across from mine who is in his mid-60s. He and his wife have no children. However, they do have a parrot. I have heard him on more than one occasion call home specifically to talk to his bird.
  
• Most times when I get puffed up with pride, people who interact with me walk away thinking that I am the king of the douches.
  
• Cher commented the other day that Miley Cyrus shouldn't show so much skin. Actually Cher is not being hypocritical as her skin was replaced with a life-like plastic more than 30 years ago.
  
• I hate it went someone comes into your office with rampant BO and leaves behind a cloud of their stink when then leave. Absolutely nasty.
  
• A man was complaining about the troubles that he was having with his wife and her threats of divorce. He stated to his friend that if he does get divorced, the next time he will plan on renting instead of buying.
  

Gallows Humor

The term gallows humor refers to joking around in the face of and in response to a worrisome, serious, or hopeless situation. In the past week I have overheard more than my fair share of such witticisms. I work for a national research laboratory funded by the United States Department of Energy. Due to the uncertainty in the federal budget for the current fiscal year that began on October 1, our laboratory funding situation in both the short and long term is extremely unsettled. Coupled with the current national recession, which has caused significantly reduced federal funding for science research over the past several years, we are faced with a number of possible scenarios, none of which are pleasant to consider. On the one hand, funding shortfalls for the laboratory mean that projects years in the design and planning, are put at risk of being significantly reduced in scope or cancelled outright. On the other hand, when projected funding levels unexpectedly are cut, the human element of the equation quickly overshadows everything else. Furloughs, pay cuts, and lay-offs become part of the planning scenarios. Right now senior lab management has compiled a list of positions marked for lay-off notices by the end of this year should a certain budget scenario be presented. Each position represents a person with a full slate of bills that won't stop even if the paychecks do. With the government now officially shutdown, seemingly in unresolvable chaos, our facility can only continue paying its workers for another few weeks before its cache runs dry.

With all of these dire clouds floating about our careers and livelihoods, our laboratory director called for an "all-hands" meeting late last week to tell us what he knows about the goings-on in Washington and what our options are moving forward. An auditorium packed to the rafters with workers, from the entry-level technician to the most senior of scientist, sat in a thick molasses of quiet, concern, and what-ifs. Every day since then, the gallows humor has been rampant around every coffee pot, in every break room, and at every table in the cafeteria. When folks are utterly powerless to affect or impact their situation, there just sometimes seems no other outlet than remarks fit only to be hung.

Gospel

My pastor recommended that I read Gospel by J.D. Greear. The key message in this book is that to cultivate a deep and lasting love in your heart for God takes more than reading theology books and going to church each week. It involves more than volunteering at your church or participating in a small group meeting. It goes well beyond the buzz words of "audacious faith" and "radical obedience". It is all about the gospel. The gospel is the New Testament message that Christ has suffered the full wrath of God for each of us in order that we might be made one with God and brought into lasting relationship with Him.

Greear develops his book around something that he refers to as the gospel prayer:

In Christ, there is nothing I can do that would make You love me more and nothing I have done that makes You love me less.

Your presence and approval are all I need for everlasting joy.

As you have been to me, so I will be to others.

As I pray, I'll measure your compassion by the cross and Your power by the resurrection.

I'm not certain that this constitutes a prayer, but something more like a personal doctrinal statement for Christianity. However, it contains important information that we need to personalize and act on.

There is nothing in this book that hasn't been said before by dozens of other Christian authors. Yet that fact doesn't make this book trite or dismissable. This book represents a worthy effort that has some important reminders of how to approach your faith and to live it out.