Flavio Gustaffo

Oh crap! I think that I've made a terrible mistake here. I don't know what I am going to do. Perhaps I can get out of this jam if I just keep the lights in my house off and ignore the doorbell. Maybe I can arrange for a transfer to Borneo. Oh, I know! I can enter into the witness relocation program and get me one of them new identities. I'm somewhat partial to the moniker, Flavio Gustaffo. I bet he, unlike myself, would be someone bold enough to go out in public wearing a handsome felt fedora. He also would probably have a neaty trimmed mustache and goatee. ... What am I talking about? Perhaps I should take a step or two back and fill you in (seeing that you asked so politely).

I have been part of a small group at my church (affectionately called WEC). We meet once a week at our host's home. At these meetings we develop "structured relationships" and talk about God and God's part in our lives. We get to know one another and try to support one another. In my most recent group, we were together for more than a year before the group endured beyond its "freshness" date and dissolved. So, I was forced to go back and register to be part of another group. That's when the trouble started. As I was quite sleepy during the application process, I absent-mindedly checked an innocent-looking box that asked "Would you be willing to host the group?". Apparently someone in the church office took this stray pencil mark on the form seriously and the next thing I know, I had been signed up to host my next group! That's why I must find a way to escape. Soon I will mysteriously vanish and my troubles will all be over.

Some may ask me, "Hey Gustaffo, nice fedora, but what's the big deal? Why all the drama and gnashing of teeth?" Well, I am not all that comfortable around people, especially a group of a dozen folks that I have never met before. Not only that, but they will all be in my very own home. Yikes!, Zounds!, and Egad! For those that know me, you can probably guess that this is a pretty big deal. Please pray for Flavio.

In a Heartbeat

From the album Holy Water by Bad Company, the song With You in a Heartbeat. I dedicate this to you still after all that has happened. A promise is a promise.

I had your picture, I had it there on the wall
It's been a long time, I didn't notice it fall
Just goes to show you, things get strange, there's nothin', nothin' I can do
You got your own life, I got mine, I still got feelings for you

And I wonder what you're thinking, does it ever seem right
Don't you know there's something missing, we don't have to fight
If you call me tonight

I'll be with you in a heartbeat, just whisper my name
And I'll be with you in a heartbeat, no questions, no blame
And I'll be with you in a heartbeat, just whisper my, just whisper my name

I got no answers, sometimes I just wanna shout
Which way to turn now, can't seem to figure this out
I haven't seen you in oh so long, nothin', nothin' seems to fade
Tried to forget you, but you won't go, ooh the memories we made

And I tried so hard to fight it, but it keeps comin' through
Ooh you were all I ever wanted, I'm waiting for you, if you wanted me too

I'll be with you in a heartbeat, just whisper my name
And I'll be with you in a heartbeat, no questions, no blame
And I'll be with you in a heartbeat, just whisper my, just whisper my name

And I wonder what you're thinking, does it ever seem right
Don't you know there's something missing, we don't have to fight
If you call me tonight

Played with Fire

I recently posted my review of the Stieg Larsson book The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. As this adventure was so wonderfully addictive, I hurriedly moved to the second part of his Millenium Trilogy called The Girl who Played with Fire. The "girl" in both of these books is one of the main protagonists, Lisbeth Salander. This young woman seems at first blush to be deranged, amoral, self-centered, psychotic, and anti-social. She looks like a teenage street tough, with chopped hair, tattoos, and piercings. She is rude, moody, gruff, and dark. At the end of Dragon Tattoo, we are just starting to understand that there is something very dark in her past that has scarred her deeply and caused her to believe that she can only rely on herself. Yet at the same time, there is something redeeming and refreshing about her that makes you care for her. Make no mistake though, if you cross her, you will be in big trouble. If you underestimate her, you will regret it. In this work, we start to understand who this person is and the horrors that she has been through. We understand why it is her against the world. Larsson has really developed a person in Lisbeth of such lucid darkness and raw emotion, that you really desire for her to find the peace that she is seeking.

This book was 724 pages in length in the paperback form that I had purchased, but it was a very quick read. Maybe I should say that I completed it in just a few days because once I started reading, the action and story line pulled me in so completely that I didn't want to stop. At several points along the way, during particularly climatic scenes, I found myself yelling out at the characters trying to help them or warn them. I became fully immersed in the unfolding drama. Part of the issue here is that the antagonist, Alexander Zalachenko (Zala), is such a unique and mottled character. He is deliciously evil. He is cut-throat, savage, egocentric, and possesses a stone cold heart. He has fully embraced his evil ways and will stop at nothing to protect his empire. Even more compelling and gripping in this story is the relationship between Zala and Lisbeth. Zala has formed Lisbeth into who she is today and Lisbeth has formed the mysterious Zala into who he has become.

This book ends with our heroine Lisbeth in a world of trouble after the dust settles in the battle to the finish between Lisbeth and Zala. Some loose ends appear to have been tied up, but if you think about it, you realize that the real story is just beginning. Now to the last book in the trilogy, The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest.

Maelstrom

I have heard the word maelstrom uttered by a number a disparate sources over the past few weeks. It's a term that conjures strong images in my mind. A maelstrom represents a disordered and tumultuous state of affairs, a strong tempest. Its usage signifies bedlam, chaos, and confusion. A strong and uncontrollable whirlwind. I tend to think of it in terms of a constant onslaught of torment that is hard to understand and fight through.

My ongoing maelstrom is a personal battle that I have been engaged in for some time. This campaign is one that originated in a nightmare. It arose out of the deceipt and betrayal and communication problems and laziness that are so common in our world today. I never expected myself to be in this situation. A once sweet and delectable ambrosia turned sour. Purest white lost its promises and joyful smile and fused into coal black. Yet today, I am forced by circumstances to continue in this conflict. I try to go forward with a positive spirit and a generous heart, yet it seems that all too frequently the bandage is ripped off the wound before it has a chance to heal. Just when a modicum of peace starts to collect, the cloud is blown away with a selfish act or a harsh tone. I know that I do not have the mind or the stomach for this. I pray for a thick skin and a soft heart. Jesus told us to "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you", Matthew 5:44.

Dragon Tattoo

I don't know how I stumbled across the list, but there it was on my computer and I glanced over it from top to bottom. I guess I was just absent-mindedly following links on CNN. The best selling authors in 2008 and 2009. One author, Stieg Larsson, caught my attention. He had written a series of books that had sold 27 million copies in a very short period of time. What was interesting was that the books were published after his untimely death at the age of 50. The series of books is referred to as The Millenium Trilogy. They fall into the class of mystery thrillers. Several of the comments on the book jacket used the term "addictive". I ordered the first book in the series to see what the big deal was about. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

My copy of the book arrived in the mail about four days after I placed my order. 644 pages. Four days later I had finished my reading. Wow, what a ride. Now I should say that I don't normally read books of this sort. All too often they seem formulatic and contrived. They are the equivalent of eating cotton candy when I should be gaining sustenance from a more hardy fare. However, this book intrigued me and held me and made me want to go back for more as I worked my way through a story about the history of the Vanger family from Sweden and their complicated and uneasy relationships. Several of the members of the family shared a sick passion that was slowly and cleverly uncovered by an investigative journalist and a young, punk/goth woman who had a talent for finding out the dirty secrets of people just to satisfy her own curiosity.

The story unfolds over the course of a year, when a retired CEO from a once powerful Swedish manufacturing company hires an investigative journalist who was sued for libel after publishing a story of crooked dealings of a powerful business man. Once his credibility took this major hit, he had to lay low for a while to let the pressure dissipate. His assignment was to write a biography of the Vanger family, but this was just a cover. His real purpose was to investigate the death of the cherished granddaughter of the retired CEO. He wanted someone to take one more look at the case before he died. She had disappeared 35 years ago under suspicious circumstances and the case is now stone cold.

Stieg Larsson weaves together a wonderfully crafted story and plot line and history. It is so hard to know who is telling the truth. Sometimes people are not who they seem to be. Sometimes they are. It all comes out in the end and sets the stage for the second book in the trilogy, The Girl who Played with Fire.

Rabble

How I have contempt for that sea of nameless, faceless humanity. That often blood-thristy, inconsiderate, and inconvenient throng. I drive along cursing and grumbling under my breath as they, without fail, try to drive me off the road with their rude and boorish antics. I fight through them and over them in supermarkets and department stores just to get a few simple items. They are everywhere. They cause me severe frustration and great anguish. I wish they would just go away and give me some peace. Cloying, that's what they are.

I pray often and ask the Lord to help make me ever mindful of the needs of others. This notion and this spirit do not come to me naturally, thus I need to constantly pray for strength and replenishment. In Mark 12:31, Jesus told the people that one of his greatest commandments was "To love your neighbor as yourself". The apparent chasm between the instruction and declaration of Jesus and my own feelings and actions towards others causes me great concern.

How can I in one moment view those that surround me and fill up my world as rabble and in another moment pray for them and love them? It seems like I have lost comprehension that the people that are all around me are the ones that I am actually praying for and supposed to live in brotherhood with. The words of Mark 9:24 fill my thoughts, "I do believe but help my unbelief."

David

A quick perusal of my reading list will show that over the past several years, I have read a number of fairly broad topic self-help books on Christianity. Several authors have a style and approach that just resonates with me and I tend to seek out their works. They include Mark Batterson, Rob Bell, C.S. Lewis, and Max Lucado. However, I have a particular fondness for Charles Swindoll, having now read a dozen of his books. For some time now I have had my eye on tackling one of his in-depth character studies. However, I had not gotten around to this given other books that I had on my list to read. So, finally, the time came to start in on Charles Swindoll's "Great Lives from God's Word" series. The first book in this series, published in 1997, is entitled David.

I think most folks have heard the story of David and Goliath, and how smallish stature David took on the 9-ft tall giant and killed him with a smooth stone from this slingshot. However, there is much more to the story of David. This book takes an in-depth look at the life of David from start to finish by stepping through the two Old Testament books, 1 Samuel and 2 Samuel, that chronicle his life (with forays into his book of songs in Psalms and 1,2 Chronicles). The subtitle of the book David is "A Man of Passion and Destiny", and tells how a simple shepherd boy went from tending his flock to becoming God's chosen king over the nation of Israel. David is described in scripture as "a man after God's own heart". This means that his passions and approach were (mostly) forward-focussed on God.

You may have noticed that I slipped a parenthetical "mostly" in the previous sentence. While David was a remarkable man in many ways, there were several long periods in his life where his sexual passions ruled his life and where he started to believe in his own hype. During these periods he focussed more on himself and turned from God. As a result of his sins, he paid a very steep price that nearly cost him and his nation everything. However, he acknowledged his sins and came back to God. An important lesson from David's life (which included a long list of sexual liaisons, adultery, deceit, murder, the loss of many lives) is that forgiveness does not preclude us from having to suffer a penalty for those sins.

This work on David was very enjoyable and written in a very clear style. The only issue that I had is that Swindoll has a way of embellishing the scripture beyond what is actually written, basically reading between the lines in his own interpretive voice, to make the story fit his romanticized, sympathetic narrative. It allows him to paint David in a light that another author might have seen differently. Regardless, he is very faithful to the word of scripture and allowed me to understand King David and his legacy in glorious fullness.

Now, onto Volume 2, Esther, A Woman of Strength and Dignity.