I recently had new carpeting installed in two rooms of my house. Most folks would probably think that having workers come in to lay down a few rolls of Berber or Saxony would not be something that should register on one's personal Richter scale. However, for me the process brought forth more reminiscing and tears than I would have thought possible. Of course, none of this was due to some curious attachment to the old, beat down, and soiled carpeting that was pulled up and hauled away. It was more associated with having to pack up and empty out the rooms before the workers showed up to complete their assigned tasks.
- From the TV stand I packed up a stack of DVDs and VHS tapes of old Winnie the Pooh cartoons that I watched dozens of times with my daughter. How she used to love to watch those with me.
- From the living room cabinet I packed up two remote-control helicopters that I gave my daughter for a Christmas present years ago. We had so much fun buzzing those things through the house. I can still hear the echos of her laughter bouncing off the walls.
- From the dresser in my bedroom I packed up my wedding ring. There are moments when I still reach to my ring finger to feel its reassuring presence, only to be reminded that she is not there.
- From my nightstand I packed up a clipboard that I often used to work crossword puzzles on when I was a kid. Under the clipboard was a stack of school portraits of my daughter through the years.
- From my bedroom I dismantled an exercise machine that I purchased when I was in graduate school. Hard to believe but that was more than 25 years ago. I kept wishing that I could go back to that time and redo some parts of my life that I screwed up or rushed through too quickly.
I don't know why I got so worked up, I mean it was only carpeting ... but then again when we take the time to look back it is only natural for tears to be present, whether they be tears of joy, tears of regret, tears of pain, tears of longing, or tears of lingering hurt.
