- I have never been in a car accident involving a 1952 Ford Fairlane.
- I have never eaten a bowl of Alpha-bits brand cereal that did not include at least three of the letter Q.
- I have not wet my bed since I was 15 years old.
- I have not been forced to wear a gaudy holiday sweater in all my years.
- I have never contracted scurvy.
However, even with all of this stated, I am going to go out on a limb and make a bold declaration. This is the first winter season of my entire life where I have not had to pull my winter jacket out of its closeted stronghold. Sure I may be inviting a cold spell the likes of which my area has never seen. I may have just written the death certificates of any number of poor unsuspecting individuals. I may have written my ticket to an appearance with Anderson Cooper whose motto is, "I am so a real reporter!" Take that old man winter.