Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Resolutions 2015

At the end of each blog year (like a regular year only bloggier) I have traditionally written a post reviewing my New Year's resolutions for the past year. The point is to own up to areas in my life that I have looked to change and honestly assess how I have done. Looking back over the past posts in this series, I have not done particularly well. In fact, the truth of the matter is that I often fail completely on realizing my goals. However, the pattern that has consistently emerged is that the goals that I set that depend entirely on me and my efforts and attitude, have turned out quite well. It is when I have resolutions that depend on other people when I am awarded with a plastic goose egg.

In my past "Resolutions" posts I have itemized my resolutions for the year and provided some commentary on my successes and failures. However, this year I just don't have it in me to do things the same way. This year has been more than tough for me and most days have found me struggling to stay afloat or numb to the happenings of the world around me. Hurt after hurt caused me to just let go of realizing my dreams. Holding onto hope when nothing ever seemed to go as I would have liked was killing me and I had to let it go.

While that sounds horrible and depressing, something positive at least came out of all of this. My approach changed from struggling to try to get what I wanted to one of just planting seeds. Doing little things here and there to help others as I was able or as I was inspired. Each seed planted might have died unnoticed or might have made a small positive difference in someone's day. I planted randomly without making it about me in any way. Maybe that is the best resolution that I could have made to begin with.