Jokes and Puns II

Yesterday I shared with you just a taste of the outrage that I felt at having first been profiled as a nerd and second being subjected to a string of nerd-themed "jokes" (see Jokes and Puns I). If that wasn't bad enough, the same guy who sent me the first offensive email thought he would push his luck even further by sending along the following list of so-called "puns".

• I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
  
• Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.
  
• A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He claims that he can stop any time.
  
• How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
  
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
  
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
  
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
  
• PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
  
• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
  
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
  
• What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
  
• Broken pencils are pointless.
  

After I received this list, I immediately contacted Human Resources to lodge a strongly worded complaint. I mean, who would blame me? After all, aren't I the real victim here?

(Part 2 of 2)