Friday, January 28, 2011

REGRET

Let's begin at the beginning to give us a firm foundation for discussion. regret is defined as a sense of guilt or sorrow, as over some wrong done or an unfulfilled ambition. If you ask anyone to cite an example, they will not have to think very long or very hard to throw a handful at you. Personally, Regret tends to haunt me. It eats away at my sanity. It causes me to look backward in remorse, in shame, in what-could-have-beens and what-should-have-beens. If only I had eyes to see. If only I had listened. If only I had done this or that. I struggle because I saw my life going in a certain direction and put everything into making that vision crystallize. After a long and arduous path that burned up the small store of fuel available for the journey, when things fell apart or did not go as planned, I am left to deal with the failure and loss. As winter quickly approaches, I also sense that I am running out of time. I sense that weight of REgret.

When one is young and living in the springtime, REGret can be used to face necessary lessons that help on the long path ahead. Although they can be tough, they serve to ensure that some episodes are not repeated or are handled with more skillful aplomb. Better said, sometimes REGRet helps us to cultivate wisdom. However, sometimes I become myopic and lose sight of the blessings that I do have in my life, the mountains that I have successfully scaled, and it seems like I am sitting at the craps table and my bucket is nearly empty. What can I do in times like this? REGREt is especially difficult in such times because it seems to define me and my life. The clock ticks loudly in my ear and there is nothing that I can do to turn back those hands. That tick-tock, tick-tock builds into a crescendo. One look in the mirror and my reflection is gone. All I see staring back at me is REGRET.