Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Excuses Excuses

As I quickly peruse the news wire each morning, I sometimes stumble across zany, wacky stories, that are really just tangents to any measure of "real" news. However, they can pull me in and make me laugh or cry. Sometimes they can achieve both feats simultaneously. Such was the case with a story focussed on amusing ... ahem ... excuses that workers have given to their bosses about why they were not be able to make it into work.
  • My 12-year-old daughter stole my car and I have no other way to work.
  • I was in line at a coffee shop when a truck carrying flour backed up and dumped the flour into my convertible.
  • A deer bit me.
  • I got a cold from a puppy.
  • My child stuck a mint up my nose and I have to go to the ER to remove it.
  • I hurt my back chasing a beaver.
  • I have a headache after going to too many garage sales.
  • My brother-in-law was kidnapped by a drug cartel while in Mexico.
  • I drank anti-freeze by mistake and had to go to the hospital.
  • I was at a bowling alley and a bucket filled with water crashed through the ceiling and hit me on the head.
Some of these are authentic reasons to be sure. I would guess that if you hovered around anyone for any significant length of time, they would do something coo-coo that would cause them to have to miss work. Others are clearly a clever way of saying "Sorry, I am out of vacation days and have no sick days left, and I really just feel like playing hookey today."