Eye Speck

Sometimes I have trouble forgiving people for transgressions against me. This is an issue that comes up all too often in my life. I try to pray and then to "give the problem to God". But, it seems, there are times that I don't really know what this means. I think also that my jealous nature takes control of my behavior. People have hurt me deeply at times, they have stolen from me, that have said unfair and untrue words against me, they have betrayed my trust, and they seem to get away with it. They act as if they have done nothing wrong. They are living perfectly at peace and I am torn up inside with a lingering pain and hurt that just won't subside. But God, what about them? When are they going to get their punishment? Why does this always seem to happen to me? What about the evils they have committed? It's nice, in times of inner termoil like these, to really appreciate what scripture has to say.

" Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" (Matthew 7:3)

"Because the sentence against an evil deed is not executed quickly, therefore the hearts of the sons of men among them are given fully to do evil." (Ecclesiastes 8:11)

The rewards or punishments that God deals out are rarely sudden or closely linked in time to the specific action. They are handed down on the day of judgement. So we have no need to waste a single, precious moment of our lives fretting over any issue of judgement or worrying about how unfair the world seems. We simply need to live our lives the best that we can and worry about our own actions. In short, you will get yours in full measure and they will get theirs in full measure. Count on it.

Brain Lapse

Every now and then I lose control. I try to maintain strict discipline, a cold, hard, and unchangeable set of rules, but sometimes things get out of hand, out of whack. You see, as Dan Quayle so ingeniously put it, "What a waste it is to lose one's mind or not to have a mind is being very wasteful" (a confused and misguided attempt to use the United Negro College Fund motto). How can I fault the man when he was so right, so dead on? I want control of my mind and my faculties at all times, there can be no exceptions. However, every now and then, there is utter rebellion (which, in the words of Dave Barry, would be an awesome name for a rock band). I lose control and become like Ronald Reagan during his entire second term in the White House (for you younger folks, he was a president, a U.S. president, a long time ago). I drool, I eat oatmeal with my hands, I sing off key (a wretched cariacture of mental illness if ever there was one, so I apologize). I have made notes of the following occurrences of loss-of-control-itis in the past few weeks:

• I wrote the dollar amount on a check on the "Pay to the order of" line.
  
• I forgot the shortcut keys on my word processor.
  
• I forget how to spelling the word "blepharoconjunctivitis".

What's next? What other common, everyday things will be lost in some wacky short circuit of my mind? Will I forget the quadratic formula? Will I forget the Schroedinger equation? Will I forget which end of my toothbrush to use? Curse you hippocampus and your insubordination.

Comparing Balloons

Just over a month ago, I made a blog entry about "Life Balloons". This was an exercise that I learned from my last Community Group as a way to take stock each year of the different areas of our lives. A way to recognize how things have evolved or developed over the past year. This self-assessment tool can be used as you chart your course for the next year. What areas of my life need attention or work (where are my life balloons flying low or drooping) and where am I doing O.K. (sufficient inflation of the good kind)? In the earlier blog I even provided a template for folks to start from if they were interested in using this approach. An interesting study can be made if we compare the results of our self-assessments from year to year, kind of a quantitative measure of progress or lack thereof. I have just completed this exercise for myself for 2008 and I wanted to show how things have gone over the past several years, from 2006 to 2007 to 2008. You will notice that there are 10 areas of assessment in my Life Balloons exercise, and each balloon is rated at a level from 1 (lowest) to 10 (highest). In my results, I have used a green balloon for 2006, a brown ballon for 2007, and a red balloon for 2008. The good news in my life is clearly evident in the last column on the right. Here I have plotted the average life balloon height across all 10 areas. Things have improved greatly for me since last year, and while I still have a long way to go, God is clearly with me and his grace abounds.

Forward 2009

No matter how tough life gets, how much pain or sorrow is woven into the fabric of our existence, it seems that the start of a new calendar year gives us a chance, an opportunity, to look ahead with renewed hope for a better tomorrow. It's funny to me that the darkness can be lifted or eased simply by turning the page of a calendar. Some subtle trick of the mind perhaps, but one should not look a gift horse in the mouth, even when one understands what's going on. It's simply the psychological shenanigans that occur in our mind comparing the price tags of a $9.99 item with a $10.00 item, the former is clearly a much better deal. Anyway, it is the turning point of a new year, we begin another trip around our sun, and we take the opportunity to look ahead. I am now forming my New Year's resolutions for 2009. It will be interesting when I look back a year from now and take stock of how things have gone. I pray that my family finds happiness, satisfaction, and peace. I pray that we find exciting challenges, both physically and mentally, and that we grow in wisdom and in love. I pray the same for all my friends and look forward with you to the year ahead.

Fiber and Old Age

Have you ever noticed that there is a strong positive correlation between our age and how many questions we ask about fiber? I don't remember when it started for me, maybe in my mid-to-late thirties, but somewhere, from deep within my being, like some nascent trait that laid dormant, it arose. According to my scientific research, it begins with noticing the labeling on certain foods, it then moves into purposefully reading the nutritional information on the side of packages, and then straight to full-fledged cravings for delicious Colon Blow cereal (now with real wood chips). This is all backed up by the following scientific-looking data.
People in this "fiber-at-all-costs" existence (called fiber-maniacs by the Centers for Disease Control) have been known to gather the whole family around the ol' porcelain ediface and give a detailed Powerpoint presentation. I don't think that I am quite this far gone, but I am starting to make myself nervous. I have noticed my darting eyes, my search for the RDA specifications on chicory in my Funyuns brand snack food, my fascination with saying the word bran until my fingers sweat. Please help me, I fear for my sanity.

Temptations Away!

I finally got to cleaning up the carnage from the Christmas present unwrapping. After all the scraps of pretty paper and decorative bows were cleared away, I gathered up all of the food-type goodies and confections that were received and set them on the kitchen counter. What to my wondering eyes should appear was a vision of pure snacking heaven, the high calorie, zero-nutritional-value pot of junk food at the end of the "I-can't-believe-I-ate-the-whole-thing" rainbow. There were chips and candies and chocolates, there were Combos and cookies and tasty nibbles of every variety under the sun. I can just picture myself sitting in front of the T.V., with four or five bags of goodies all opened simultaneously - munching and snacking for hours on end. Trouble is, I am on a rather strict diet, where none of this is allowed. What is clear is that to the man on a diet, everything with an ounce of taste is completely off-limits. No sugar, no fat, no melt in your mouth goodness. Oh well, pass me another serving of kale. You know I can't get enough of garnish-type foods. Snack-tastic!

Happy Maddie Day!

Today I celebrate the start of another new year, with all its potential promise and hope. However, more importantly, today I celebrate the birthday of my little girl. Today she turns 11 years old. In latin, the expression is tempus fugit, we simply say "time flies". I have these palpable memories of holding her in my arms, loving her and protecting her. I was her whole world. Today she is starting to spread her wings, reminding me that our time together is finite. That's O.K. you know. This is what being a parent is all about. We do our best to teach them, to give them a good example, to love them, and to take care of them, all so that they will be ready to go out on their own some day and be able to cope and survive and set a good example for their children. But that time is still a ways off, so today I will celebrate with her, presents, cake, laughter, games, and fun. I don't need to say it, she already knows, but I love you Maddie. I can't imagine my life without you. You're my best little buddy. Happy birthday angel face.