Monday, March 2, 2009

House III

Son I've made a life out of readin' people's faces,
And knowin' what their cards were by the way they held their eyes
So if you don't mind my sayin', I can see you're out of aces
For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice.

So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow
Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light.
And the night got deathly quiet and his face lost all expression.
He said, "If you're gonna play the game, boy, you gotta learn to play it right."

With apologies to Kenny Rogers, I know how the gambler feels. Living on the edge, hoping for a break, not understanding what will be around the next corner, or knowing if things will work out. I view my new house with its sizable mortgage as a big gamble. Have I done something foolish by taking this one on? Am I going after this property for the right reasons, or is there something dark and selfish behind my motives? Will the new bills cause me to cut back on other areas of my life that are probably more important? Have I done enough thinking and planning or am I relying on luck to get me though? Well I know that many of you out there probably already fully understand how I will get through. I already know how I will get through. Even fully equipped with this knowledge I am still struggling, still worrying. "Know when to walk away, know when to run?", hah, not hardly.

Part 3 of a moving 6 part series.