Brother Odd

The third novel in the Odd Thomas series by Dean Koontz is entitled Brother Odd. After the recent draining and harrowing exploits of everyman Odd Thomas, Odd has decided that the needs a break from the only place on Earth that he has ever lived, the small desert down of Pico Mundo, CA. Odd considers himself a regular Joe, nothing exceptional or special or deserving of a second notice. However, he has the unique ability to interact with lingering spirits, those souls who, for one reason or another, have chosen not to move on to their eternal rest. After surviving the terror plot to destory Pico Mundo by satanists in Odd Thomas and barely escaping with this skin from a psychopathic demon worshipper in Forever Odd, Odd has come to the difficult but necessary decision to go away from his hometown for a time. Away from the ghosts and their issues, away from the sinister bodach spirits that ravenously glory in death and hurt, away from the people who are not sure who or what he is. With help from the uncle of his deceased financée, he moves to an isolated monastery high in the Sierras. His only plan is to work for his food, reflect on his life, and escape the world for a time.

For a short period, Odd finds what he is looking for. He becomes a part of the monastery, well liked and appreciated, and a valuable member of the community. This monastery, St. Bartholomew's, serves as a school and rehabilitation center for cast out children, those who have been abused or wounded beyond repair. A great gift of Odd's is his ability to interact with the children and to help them build trust and self-respect with his humbleness and his genuine brand of love. Yet the small slice of peace that Odd finds does not last for long when one of the monks goes missing and shortly thereafter, the bodachs start arriving. The origin of the bodachs is unclear, but Odd has learned through painful experience that when death is near, they appear in droves. To make matters worse, the monastery is suddenly cut off from the outside when a massive snow storm hits. As Odd begins to follow his instincts, he comes across a new breed of seemingly otherworldly demons that look like killing machines. It is up to Odd to learn of their source and to find a way to protect the special children of the school.

Another fine work that will give you something to think about as you work your way through. Just because we can, does it mean we should? Koontz gives us some morality issues to ponder. Now onto the next part of the story, Odd Hours.

Observations 26

My occasional blog series "Observations" was created to be an outlet to share a variety of topics that pop into my field of view as a result of a condition that many bloggers are afflicted with known as "blogger's eyes". In this state we view the world on the constant look-out for topics on which to write about. Today's blog came about from random odds 'n ends of things that I have noticed over the past few weeks.

• I was playing Scrabble with my daughter the other day and she was puzzling over her letters and what words she could spell. After a few minutes, as she stared intently at what tiles she had, she asked me, "Daddy, is D-O-G a word?" Did I mention that she is in high school?
  
• On the Domino's pizza box, in the lower left corner, there is some advertising for their brand of Cheesy Bread. The words read, "So cheesy, it almost defies the laws of physics." Hmmm, they did not provide a number for me to call to straighten them out. Criminy, this is lacto-mechanics 101 stuff folks.
  
• Two of my friends, one from Russia and one from Germany, just completed their written tests to become U.S. citizens. They were laughing at one of the test questions which they posed to me, "What is the law of the land?" They gave me two guesses. My answers were 1). Every man for himself and 2). Shoot first ask questions later. Both were wrong. It turns out the correct answer is "The Constitution".
  
• My daughter has been trying to get me to cut down on the number of adjectives that I use in my regular conversation. We were walking into the house the other day when I got a shock from touching the door handle. Noticing my wincing reaction, she asked if I got shocked. My reply, "Yeah, a little tiny baby shock." You don't think I have a problem do you?
  
• If you see one of your neighbors doing some kind of kooky rain dance in their yard, they are most likely nuts. If you saw me doing that the other day, realize that I was cheering the dead mole that I just discovered who had been terrorizing my yard. I am most likely not nuts.
  

Fraud

A new report has just been released detailing how well many charities are doing (see the CNN story). The standard metric for success is what fraction of the funds raised actually go to the cause that is represented. A charity that has an overhead of 35% or less is considered as efficient and reputable. However, the report released showed that many charities are little more than fronts for their founders to pocket millions of dollars, all while covering their tracks with a sickenly polished and calculated layer of deceit and fraud. Some of the reports findings include:

• The 50 worst charities in America give less than 4% of donations to aid. Over a decade, one diabetes charity raised $14 million dollars and only gave away $10,000. Several pocketed every penny that they received.
  
• Many of the operators of the charities secretly paid themselves exorbitant "consulting fees" on top of their already high salaries.
  
• Most of the nonprofits were found to be little more than fronts for the for-profit fund raising companies that gather the donations.
  
• To inflate their reported giving, many charities use accounting tricks and comically inflate the value of donated items that they hand out to the needy.
  

When the founders of the charities were approached about the reports findings, most declined to answer questions about their programs or referred the reporters to their attorneys. Many became threatening and tried to intimidate the investigators.

Apart from the sickeningly selfish behavior of these flesh-eating vultures, they poison the well for the honest charities that make a real difference. They cause people to become more guarded and suspicious regarding their generosity. There should be a special corner of hell set aside for these monsters.

Compliment

At the laboratory where I work, lots of scientists from outside universities stay for extended periods of time to carry out their research. In planning, staging, and running such experiments, dozens of folks are intimately involved, all working on a demanding schedule under significant pressure. There are folks who i). design, build, and test the detectors, ii). install the equipment in the experimental area, iii). connect the detectors to the readout electronics and make sure that everything is working, iv). write the tens of thousands of lines of computer code to carry out the experiment and analyze the data, and v). sit shifts on the experiment for the weeks and months that the experiment collects data.

Recently we had a rather senior scientist come to our lab to work on an experiment that he was in charge of. He had not done any research at our lab before and wasn't familiar with our culture or our way of doing things. Each week he provided updates to our group regarding what had happened the previous week and what the plans were for the upcoming week. He detailed all the unexpected problems that cropped up and how they were solved, as well as the issues that were still unresolved. At the end of the experiment, he gave a summary presentation of how things went. He detailed some of the major issues that they were faced with and how they were solved. He then gave our group a profound compliment that was quite powerful. He said that he never had to go and search out who might be responsible for a given system or a given area. When there was work to be done, the right folks just seemed to show up and take care of it. It didn't matter what hour of the night or day, people knew their jobs and took care of everything that needed to be done without ever having to be asked.

Sometimes folks say thanks and it quickly tickles our ears and is gone. Other times that have a way of showing their appreciation that stays with you.

Interview

I agreed to let my friend Kai interview me today. I think that after reading this, you can likely form your own picture of who she is and what she is like. I haven't been around her for all that long, but she lacks a filter. However, I can say that she speaks from her heart. It seems that she masks a lot of hurt with her words. She would likely say that I do very much the same. So without further ado, here we go.

Kai : So, do you like my titties?

RTZ : Kai, please. I want you to take this seriously. I need you to be respectful.

Kai : Just wanted ta see if U was a man of your word. Ya said I could ask what I wanted.

RTZ : I try my best to honor my word, I really do. But I think that I often find myself struggling against my true nature.

Kai : Brother we all gots struggles. I've hanged wit you lots a times. You always seem lost, like youz waiting for something.

RTZ : I think I have never healed from my divorce.

Kai : Do ya still think about her in bed?

RTZ : Kai ... Sure I think about her and what she gave me. I think about how she strengthened me and challenged me to be a man. I miss her smiles and her hugs and her company. I miss having someone to come home to.

Kai : You don't think about her in bed? I'd roll wit ya.

RTZ : Kai, you of all people should know that sex too early in a relationship can be a killer. Jumping into bed with someone can completely short circuit laying down deep roots. Instead of talking and forging real and lasting bonds, all you want to do is get into bed. When there is nothing but lust and physical touch, it can fool you into thinking there is a deeper level of intimacy and trust than there is.

Kai : You wouldn't want to lay with me?

RTZ : Kai, you know that is not who I am or what I am looking for. I want to find someone to share my life with. Someone who looks at me and sees everything and still loves me.

Kai : You into guys?

RTZ : Why do you ask that?

Kai : You don't want ta get wit me and you ain't got any tang in years. Plus you said I could ask anythang.

RTZ : At this point in my life, I have considered lots of different things in my desperation. I'm sick of being rejected and being alone. Sometimes your mind goes to places when you are really down, some of them can be very dark indeed. But to answer your question, I dream of meeting a beautiful woman and falling in love and having someone to share my life. All that romance stuff.

Kai : You ain't young.

RTZ : No I'm not. But I still have a few good years left before I spontaneously combust.

Kai : Whats dat?

RTZ : It's where you suddenly and inexplicably burst into flames. I was trying to be funny.

Kai : For reals??

RTZ : Maybe.

Kai : If you so sad and mopey all da time - how you gonna find anyone. The candy ain't gonna come knock knock knocking on ya door.

RTZ : For a few years I really tried to put myself out there. I tried to meet people and make friends. Most of them moved away. Others had too much going on to have time to be friends.

Kai : Why don't you just go to a bar and hang out? I bet you could hook up quick.

RTZ : I spent enough time in bars when I was younger to last me a lifetime. It just isn't me any more. As the kids say, "That just ain't my scene babe."

Kai : What kids?

RTZ : I don't know, Sammy Davis Jr.'s kids.

Kai : Who? Ya got any Fresca?

Forever Odd

The second book in the Odd Thomas series by Dean Koontz is entitled Forever Odd. It is not necessary to read the first book, Odd Thomas, to enjoy this one and figure out the characters, but I would strongly recommend it. The first reason is that it helps to provide context and set the scene for who Odd is and why he acts the way he does. The second reason is that Odd Thomas is a top notch work. Fun, quirky, intelligent, and cleverly written. I guess it is relevant to remind folks that Odd Thomas is the protagonist's real name. His parent's are both psychotic and left Odd to raise himself. I think by all measures, he has made a pretty good go of things. He is honest, loyal, hard working, and principled. Oh, and he can also see and communicate with the dead. He would tell you that he is as vanilla and unspecial as they come in this world, but for this one unique trait. Those souls that do not move on to the other side upon death, usually remain behind because they have some unfinished business in this world. Oftentimes that "business" involves some nefarious activity like they were murdered, but sometimes it is due to guilt or other issues.

In the first book, Odd thwarts the plans of a satanist group who were scheming to kill thousands of folks in his small California town of Pico Mundo. However, while he limited the destruction and the death using his special gifts and his own cleverness, the experience destroyed his future plans. A year has now passed and he is still dealing with his own mourning and his newfound status as a local hero. One evening he is visited by a recently murdered townsperson whose son and Odd had grown up together. Danny Jessup, born with and disfigured by a rare bone disorder, is kidnapped by a lady that he had met online. What started out as pure lust for Danny, eventually transformed into what he thought was relationship. Slowly he opened up about his life, including the secrets of Odd's paranormal abilities. Datura, a most wicked and deranged lady who fancies herself some kind of occult princess, then sets her sights on using Danny to get to Odd. Odd pursues the trail and meets up with Datura and her beefy henchman in an abandoned and burned out Indian casino complex. What follows is a cat and mouse game with palpable tension as Odd seeks to save Danny and to avoid the evil that relentlessly is drawn to him. Another solid work that I really enjoyed. Now, onto the third book in the series, Brother Odd.

John Perks

When I mention John Perks, most folks seem to think that I am speaking of a man. Perhaps, middle-aged with coke-bottle glasses and funky side-burns that make him look a touch daft. Regardless of who I mention John Perks to, folks seem to think that he is some low-level pencil pusher who works in a small, noisy cubicle, somewhere near the elevator. But the fact is, John Perks is not a person. It is more of an unspoken, amorphous concept. If we consider the two
words separately, I think that you will begin to understand.

1). John [jon] noun: a toilet or bathroom (slang).

2). Perks [purks] noun: an extra inducement, benefit, or award (slang).

So you see, John Perks is not a person. It is a benefit program of sorts that may not be spelled out in a worker's contract or hiring agreement. It is more of a tacit award for rank in the corporate food chain. The deal that I have noticed after painstaking research and more than casual observation is that the higher folks are on the corporate ladder, the nicer their bathroom facilities are and the more often they are cleaned. Here is a list of my findings.

• Position: CEO
  
• Bathroom Description: Teak rainforest beadboard. Imported porcelain with gold fixtures. Spacious room for single user. Includes changing bench with leather padding and wall sconces. Toilet tissue extracted from angel's tears.
  
• Cleaning Frequency: Every two hours.
  

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• Position: Upper management
  
• Bathroom Description: Mahogany inlays with stone tile floor. High quality fixtures outfitted with polished chrome. Two stalls with floor to ceiling dividers. Coat rack with gold-toned hooks. Concealed, soft lighting. Toilet tissue scented with jasmine potpourri.
  
• Cleaning Frequency: Twice per day.
  

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• Position: Middle management
  
• Bathroom Description: Tastefully painted walls with standard tile flooring. Reasonably clean and outfitted with three to four stalls with 3/4 panel dividers. Brightly lit space with fluorescent fixtures on ceiling. Name brand toilet paper.
  
• Cleaning Frequency: Once per day.
  

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• Position: Lower management
  
• Bathroom Description: Standard work-a-day john. White walls and tiled floors. Semi-funky, lingering odor. Rust stains around plumbing. Five to seven stalls and urinals with minimal privacy walls. Fluorescent lighting with only half the bulbs working, the rest either buzzing or flickering. Commercial grade toilet paper.
  
• Cleaning Frequency: Three times per week.
  

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• Position: Technicians/Workers
  
• Bathroom Description: Gas-station-level facility. Covered with green mold and infested with roaches, spiders, and fruit flies. Most stalls covered with distasteful graffiti. Many toilet seats missing. Low-grit-sandpaper quality toilet paper, but only in some stalls. Sheen of liquid of some sort on the floor at all times. Dark room, likely haunted. Odor level nearly inhuman.
  
• Cleaning Frequency: Once per month.
  

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• Position: IT Folks
  
• Bathroom Description: Port-a-potty in back corner of lot laying on its side. Occupied by an ornery conclave of raccoons or possibly wolverines.
  
• Cleaning Frequency: Never
  

Has anyone else noticed this John Perks scheme at their place of work?