Essence of Mirth I

I know for a fact that there is not enough laughter in my life. This should not be a surprise to anyone given the long, dour expression that I consistently wear a good deal of the time. I wish this statement did not apply so directly to me as, you see, laughter is such a wonderfully healing device. According to scripture, "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine", Proverbs 15:13. There have been a number of clinical studies that have demonstrated that laughter:

• Reduces physical pain and discomfort by producing pain-reducing hormones called endorphins;
  
• Strengthens our immune system by stimulating production of proteins called globulins, along with T-cells and interferon;
  
• Decreases stress sensations by reducing cortisol levels.
  

These studies were not focussing on inane cocktail-party chit-chat laughter. They were based on the type of laughter that comes from somewhere deep inside of us that causes our sides to ache and our tears ducts to bring forth a torrent. The kind of laughter that causes us to lose control.

Personally I know that unexpected laughter of this sort can turn a whole day around. Kind of like putting the rock-solid ice cube of frustration, anxiety, disappointment, turmoil, and stress on a sidewalk during high noon in August. All of the negativity quickly melts away, leaving no trace of its previous existence. Ahh, the healing power of laughter.

(Part 1 of 2)

Disposable Friends

Folks, I stand before you a much more humble, honorable, and genuine person than the conceited prig that I was in my youth. I would say, based on my own crude observation, that if my youthful attitude of arrogant, self-sufficient elitism was a disease, that today I am not so much cured, rather the bug has gone into remission. I say this because I recognize the symptoms as they reappear from time to time.

Let me relay to you two instances of this disease from long ago. I don't bring these up to stir your sympathy toward me or to give you further ammunition against me, heavens no, but to bare my afflictions so that I might continue to distance myself from that horrible monster that lurks within me.

• A friend of mine who I studied with from time to time started to seek me out for extra assistance when he began to fall behind in his class work after a period where he suffered from a serious bought with influenza. One day he appeared at my office with a huge ball of snot protruding from his nose. I was so grossed out that I never studied with him or hung out with him again.
  
• I had a study partner and friend in an advanced undergraduate class. As the material was very difficult, it took a huge amount of effort to keep up and work through the punishing homework assignments. One day before an assignment was due, we were to meet up to review our work. He never showed up. It turns out his wife had gone into labor and he was with her at the hospital for the birth of his son. However, I felt so let down that I quickly distanced myself from him.
  

Both situations played out very much from the same point. I could not bear when friends turned out to be human. When I perceived them as selfish or unreliable for my purposes, I quickly discarded them into the rubbish heap. Disposable friends. Now I continually struggle with loneliness and the wounds of broken relationships. I no longer have to ask the question why, this is all too clear. I only hope that I can find a way to keep that beast at bay as I nuture the relationships that remain in my life or are coming down the road.

Tough Questions - Jump!

About a year and a half ago I wrote a post entitled Voodoo Religion II. One of the points that I touched on was the personal dangers that I face when I am pressed to explain or justify my Christian faith. I have always found it difficult to defend faith as it is, by its very nature, not something that can be quantified or subjected to the standard scientific method. I have found that tough questions can sometimes lead me to question my faith because I just cannot provide answers that make full sense or are fully satisfying. I often feel that it is best to stick my head in the sand and just ignore the difficult questions that lead to such consternation.

Of course, this is the defense of a feeble army. One of the central points that Rob Bell made in his book Velvet Elvis is that we are not being responsible as Christians if we are not always testing our faith. As we have a lot at stake with our system of beliefs, it would be more than foolish if we just bought the whole Bible lock, stock, and barrel without reading it, experiencing it, and considering it very carefully. A Christian should not just be identified by a pin-on label. No, being a Christian means that we are living (or should be living) very different, transformed lives compared to who we were and how we lived before we were saved. As such, becoming and being a Christian is no small undertaking. Therefore, if Christianity is a trampoline, Rob Bell would encourage us to jump.

The other night at my church Community Group, we did just that. Our group spent the evening jumping. We were discussing the message of our sermon the previous Sunday that focussed on the central notion of Christianity that the only way to heaven is through Jesus Christ. Therefore, according to the word of the Bible (e.g. John 14:6, "No one comes to the Father if not through me"), those who do not know Jesus Christ and accept him as their personal Lord and Savior are doomed to spend eternity in hell. This point did not sit well with several members of the group. What about God's chosen people? The Jews do not accept Jesus as the Messiah. What about people who are Muslims or Hindus or Buddhists? Most people who are religious follow the religion of their parents or their people. The fact is that these people have never been exposed to Chrisitianity and will never have any way to know Jesus. According to the New Testament, how good of a Muslim, Hindu, or Buddhist they are is irrelevant, they are all going to hell. What about primitive, isolated tribes in the South American jungle? There is no way for them even to know about the Bible or experience it. It just somehow seemed inappropriate or unfair or "wasteful" for God to have created so many beautiful people, not given them an opportunity to "follow the rules", and then damn them to eternal hell. Of course the notion of picking and choosing what one believes from the Bible, Old Testament or New Testament, is a dangerous game. If one part is shown to be incorrect or false, then the whole ball of string can quickly unravel.

We talked about a lot of things that night. I am quite certain that nobody's mind was changed by the discussion, but it was certainly not a hostile atmosphere. It was open and honest and supportive. It was safe to jump.

Dawn of the Dead

To begin today's post, I must channel Larry the Cable Guy by apologizing to them starving pygmies down there in New Guinea. My mind is certifiably unclean and I know that I will eventually have to pay a very dear price. Let me share the following recent story from my life. Again, I must say up front that I am deeply and humbly contrite.

The laboratory where I work regularly hosts outside groups in the spirit of community service. We allow the area police and fire departments to hold their annual graduation services in our auditorium. From time to time you will spot signs announcing the presence of some local civic group. This week we are hosting a group referred to as "The Lifelong Learning Society". If you are a clever chap (or chapette), you will instantly recognize this thinly veiled euphemism for old folks. Now I have nothing against old folks, heck, I hope to be one some day, but you must admit they can be an amusing lot.

The other afternoon I decided to head outside to my car at lunch time to read a few pages of my book. The weather was nice and I decided to roll the windows down on my car (actually I did not really roll them down, I pushed the button on the door). Usually at lunch time I also take the opportunity to people watch as folks hustle and bustle about. However, as I was sitting in my car looking around, I heard a distant rumble coming from around the corner of the building. It sounded like a mix between shuffling or dragging feet and the mechanized advance of the German army's Panzar division. Slowly a large mass of "lifelong learners" emerged from around the corner. They were moving in unison, but very slowly. Limping and dragging themselves along, some advancing with the help of wheelchairs and walkers. This unusual, unexpected, and slightly frightening sight took me aback and caused me to catch my breath. I let out a slight yipping noise and then exclaimed, "Man, it's like the dawn of the living dead out here". Again, I apologize.

Wait, You're Here

All of my life I have been a very emotional person when it comes to goodbyes, even if they are only temporary. With just a whisper of a thought or the flash of a mental picture of separation in my mind, I can very easily be brought to tears. These feelings and emotions don't always make logical sense. In the moment I cognitively understand this, but it doesn't matter. The pain is very real. In the times where I have tried to express to others what I am going through, I have been met with curious stares and awkward nods.

One issue that I have experienced frequently in my life is missing someone who is still in my presence! Let me explain by citing a specific example. I am sitting with my daughter on the night before I am about to go away on a week-long business trip or she is about to go off for a few days to visit some friends. We can be having a grand time with fun and laughter, when the notion of our impending separation drifts across my mind. Typically this can lead me to feel the strong anxiety of missing her even before we are apart. The emotions that swell within me take all of the energy I possess to force myself back into the current moment and not to let precious time slip away. I find that it is very easy for me to wallow in sadness and miss life's wonderful opportunities and experiences, both grand and gentle. Perhaps it is best to focus my mindset to live in the moment and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering. Then I will always have you with me even when we are apart.

Turn Signal Test

Over the years that I have been driving on America's highways and byways, I have become convinced that a sure sign of spiritual maturity in others is that they regularly, consistently, and properly use the turn signals in their vehicles. Furthermore, I am quite certain that we would witness this statement in action if cars and trucks existed back in the early first century and Jesus was a licensed driver. I bet you could discretely follow him from Nazareth to the Sea of Galilee and back and he would always follow the rules of the road. Let me just let these statements percolate in your minds for a bit ...

It has long been one of my pet peeves to follow behind drivers and have them make turn after turn and never once signal their intention. Not only is it dangerous to be reckless in the presence of other people sharing the roadways, but it is also amazingly selfish. It seems to me that people who do not use their turn signals do not give a rip about anyone else on the road with them. Perhaps they think that turn signals are optional. Not true. Perhaps they think that they are so important that they don't need to bother. Certainly not true. Perhaps they think that signaling their intent to turn or suddenly cut me off in traffic has nothing to do with roadway safety. Again, no.

The other day I was stuck behind a line of a half dozen vehicles that all came to an abrupt stop in the middle of the road. One by one, each of them turned into a local church parking lot. I was incredulous. Aren't church-going folk supposed to believe in the importance of their fellow man? You would think that folks such as these would be especially mindful of the needs of others. They would be among the first to be considerate and courteous in their direct and indirect interactions with others. Although this entry is a bit tongue in cheek, doesn't lack of proper use of a turn signal indicate some systematic selfishness of folks?

Syzygy

In astronomy there is a cool word that has stuck in my consciousness over the years. This word is syzygy. How many words do you know of that include a "y" for every other letter and includes three of these buggers? Syzygy refers to a state where multiple planetary bodies (in a given gravitational system) are in direct alignment, like the sun, moon, and earth. It can also refer to the coming together of a number of separate threads into an unexpected windfall. I can assure you that when I experience this state of a distant hope or dream coming to fruition, that it makes me quite giddy, quite giddy indeed. Let me share my most recent experience.

I have come to find out over the years that kids love to spend their parent's hard-earned money. To be clear, when considering their preference between two different items, they always seem to much prefer the more expensive item. Then they set their hearts on said more expensive choice and look at their parental units with the saddest puppy-dog eyes known to mankind. In such a situation, it has been clinically proven that parents cannot deny their offspring's request. They may dearly want to say no, but are rendered physically incapable. This is the situation 99.999% of the time.

However, I experienced syzygy the other day in the local sporting goods store. My daughter and I were shopping for a field hockey stick for her. Her choice came down to two sticks that seemed to me to be quantifiably identical in every conceivable way down to the molecular level. However, one stick was $30.00 and the other was $90.00. If you have been paying attention to where this blog entry is leading, you will probably already have guessed that she chose the $30.00 stick as her favorite without any proddings from me. She looked at me as one might look at a demented dancing baboon when I did my dance of monetary joy in the middle of the aisle. Syzygy.