![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzQc6_16d2t1SxQKJDak4gPQyerwML3MzVQ_0KsgohfQUVQZFecTSJKuJNDHcJK2407miW8RluvUL5HuRr8W8ESQCtN0DhKi8fgp11kCwXEwpy652RxJqZi2p_Hi7dvdudMKjE0n2wMVw/s200/exercise-machine.jpg)
Recently my faithful elliptical exercise machine (featured in my post Hurts So Good from September, 2010) died a sudden death at the tender age of about 7 years. It had been used for only about 1200 exercise sessions before its ticker conked out. I don't know much about the innards of elliptical machines, but I would guess that it was most likely an inversion in the reciprocating carburetor or a field collapse in the inverting flux capacitors. Regardless of the cause, I was devastated. But more than that, I was flabbergasted and confounded that one so young would pass so far before their time.
In my distress I gave into the pathos and two-timed my old elliptical machine. I was an unfaithful cad. I immediately went out and bought another machine and sickeningly paraded it around in front of my old model. Oh, most shameful. Then, true to my madman leanings, I cut up my old machine with a hacksaw and threw it in the trash bin with my other refuse. Please don't judge me (or the same fate may await you, bwaa ha ha).